past mistakes

To Tell or Not to Tell

When I wake up, I can barely open my eyes. They feel glued stuck by my tears. I also have a horrible headache and such an awful feeling in my stomach. Last night was horrible in every aspect.

I walk out to the living room and see the guy from last night asleep on my couch. I am so close to beating him up, if I could even, but the bruises all over his face tell me I shouldn't.

I grab a water and a handful of pills and swallow, despite the lump in my throat. I rub my eyes a bunch of times but never get less tired.

Eventually, I hear a door upstairs open. I see Kendall walking down the stairs. She takes a water and some pills as well.

I go to speak but already know that my throat is going to hurt. "Last night was a big deal to me Kendall."

She sighs, "I know."

"No, you don't. If you did, you would have let me explain myself that night. You wouldn't have let him sleep in my living room! He could have tried again."

"Look at him, he's not trying anything. And I'm really sorry MC, but you were so drunk that you passed out on the deck, I'm just not sure if you're sure what happened."

"I couldn't forget that. I'm not okay."

She nods. "Mark's upstairs, so you can talk to him today."

"But he won't believe me now! How could I ever do that to him after what happened with Jack?! You should get that!"

Kendall nods, "Let's calm down, people are sleeping, but yes, we will talk to him and explain that."

Leo walks down the stairs with his hand over his eyes. Kendall says, "I'll be back."

I nod, still angry.

The guy on the couch wakes up too. The only person I want to speak with isn't here.

Leo and Kendall talk with each other while the guy on the couch drinks water.

Eventually, Mark does come down and doesn't look at me. I stare at him as he drinks water.

"Mark?" I say, waiting for him to look at me. He doesn't look yet, though I know he heard me.

"Mark please talk to me."

He sighs and looks at Kendall and Leo. They both nod to him and walk over to the guy. They sit down on the couch next to his.

"I'm not doing this with him here."

Kendall sighs, "He was significantly less intoxicated than you. He has a better understanding of what happened."

"You believe him more than me? You don't even know him."

"Yeah, but we know you MC."

"Wha-, that's so unfair. I can't even believe this." I am speechless with what she has to say to me.

"Mark, can you please step into the other room with me? Please."

He doesn't look up. "I'm done with this. I'm not staying in my own house with this guy here." 

I stand up, which is when Leo looks up and says, "He's not here MC. Just ignore him. He means nothing. Just explain what happened to us."

I sigh and sit down, on the edge of my seat though. "I was asleep when he walked in, but got woken up by the light that came in. He got on my bed and started," I pause. I can't say this in front of Mark. I sigh and keep my head down, "Kissing my neck," Mark twitches. "I told him to stop, then said 'Mark', hoping he might hear. He told me that he was Mark and continued. I told him to stop anyway, many times. Then I got louder and Mark came in. That's what happened."