Harry || h.s.

0.2- Harry

three years before

"I think im shitting myself," I stated once my manager picked up his phone. I could hear his sigh over the line, knew he was fed up with me already. every day I had been asking him if I should go. he always said no, said I could fill the time up working on a new album but I could care less about that now.

"oh shut up just go in, you're interrupting my dinner," Dan muttered and I rolled my eyes. he was the one who never took my shit everyone else too afraid to say anything wrong.

"I can't just walk in, I haven't seen my family in seven fucking years and and fuck,"

I knew what I was really afraid of, what had made me come here, what made me want to stay away.

"go in," he states emphasizing the syllabus.

"I'm late,"

"then hurry up and go in,"

"I'm way late,"

"Harry," he sighed and I could see him pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose, knew he would be shaking his lowered head. "this is my day off,"

"I know bu-"

"go in,"

"bu-"

"I have to go harry, my wife is alone at the dinner table and this is my day off, go in," and he hung up the phone.

I groaned loudly shutting my eyes.

I fucking hated this, hated how things had turned out and how they were going. I needed a drink but I couldn't fucking walk right in, didn't know how to go about all this.

Karen was the only person who knew I was coming, I had begged her to not tell anyone. I hadn't known if I really was going to come, but now it was dark and I was back in this god awful state too close to that god awful town. Karen had gotten me a room at a hotel, I had told her I would only be able to stay the night, that I'd have to fly back the next day.

she had been upset but she hadn't said anything against it. and I had come and I'd leave tomorrow morning.

I tried pulling myself out of the car, each time I realized how horrible it would be to go in there. how Fletcher might actually punch me, how bad it would be if I walked in and they didn't want me anymore. I had been shitty to them, left them as if they meant nothing to me. but I couldn't have ties to that town anymore.

after she left...left me, I needed to get out, needed a change. I still wasn't put together, not now, not ever.

what if she was in there? what if she was with someone else?

oh shut it you have no right to care about that, shes moved on, and once you see that you can move on.

but I didn't know if I wanted to move on and I'd live with it if she had moved on.

and so I sucked it up and got out of the car. the second I walked around to the front of the building I saw her.

sitting there looking up to the sky, chin quivering as if she was going to start crying.

she looked just a beautiful as I remembered, better than I remembered. hair now framing her face, freckles darkened from the summer sun I knew they had been experiencing here earlier this morning. dressed in a simple black dress, her heels making her a bit taller as she stood to walk back into the building.

and without thinking I called out her name, "Rosie?"

she looked back over her shoulder at me, body cast in the golden glow from the lights behind her coming from the windows. "harry?" voice as sweet as before.

I didn't think I'd ever hear her say my name again, "Rosie." her name like a fresh breath of air.

I hadn't realized how good she had made me feel, just being in her presence made me weak with a love I once had, still hold inside me.

and the night went on and I couldn't stop thinking of her. and then I was in a fight with my father who had been drunk but ended up hugging me anyways. I hadn't expected Fletcher to leave so soon and yet he had, but I had texted him but I knew that wasn't enough.

I thought I had lost her once more. but then I was running to catch the elevator and there she was again.

I hadn't been that close to her in seven fucking years. the space filled with the sweet smell of her perfume, I tried holding my breath, didn't want her to be stuck in my mind.

but when was she not?

and she had gone to her room and I noticed mine was right across the hall.

I sat at the edge of the bed hands in my hair, legs shaking, mind racing, and picked up myself trying to find some confidence.

I paced back and forth, back and forth, wasting time.

wasting time until I finally opened the door and took the two steps to be in front of hers. I raised my hand and knocked softly.

it was only a moment before she pulled the door open.

fuucck.

she still had that hold on me, blinking up at me with her coffee-colored eyes.

"um-" I didn't even know what to say, didn't plan this far, all I had planned was getting up and knocking, I thought it would all come to me at the moment. "can we talk?"

she looked back and forth between my eyes nodding slowly before pulling the door open a bit more to let me in.

she had only placed her bag down next to the desk, still dressed as she had been before, her shoes weren't even off yet. I stood in the middle of the room not knowing what to do.

"you can sit if you would like," she muttered taking a seat at the edge of the bed before leaning down to take her heels off. "these things are death traps, I can barely walk in flats,"

I chuckled feeling a few of my nerves dissipate.

"age didn't bring less clumsiness?"

"oh gosh no I almost fell down the aisle, fletcher had to catch me," she laughed, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

I couldn't help but chuckle, I could just imagine how that had gone. but silence fell back on to the conversation and I still didn't know why I was here.

"is it inappropriate to say I missed you?" the whisper soft from my mouth but it was the truest thing I could think of.

"no...I missed you too," her hands twisted in her lap, she didn't look up at me.

"how-um how are you?"

"good I um work at the elementary school actually,"

"oh," I smile shocked that I hadn't known that but then again I hadn't spoken to her in years or anyone who knew her. "do you like it?"

"Yeah I do actually, I'm glad I'm not a dentist or something else," we both laughed again leading to silence.

then I thought fuck it, tell her your feelings, if she rejects you, you can run again, go back to new york, go back to being alone, move on.

"Rosie i-" she looked up at me and my heart was beating too fast, blood rushing to my head.

"Rosie I still love you,"

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