Harry || h.s.

1.9- Rosie

nine years before

I sat on the edge of the bed my aunt had gotten me a few days after I had shown up with yellowing bruises and freshly cut hair. only a few days before I had shown up had I gotten all my stitches removed.

a mirror was placed in front of me, hanging on the wall showing back someone I didn't really recognize all that much. eyes hollowed out in black circles, cheek sunken in, skin sickly pale, pink scar under my bottom lip. 

hair curling around my chin I stood up to examine myself even more.  fresh out of the shower I stood only in my underwear, the bathrooms light making my skin look yellow and sickly. I ran my hand over my stomach and up to my ribs before letting my hands fall down to my sides. seeing myself like this hurt in a new way. 

I felt emotionless as a tear slipped down my cheek. I brushed it away with the back of my hand. fingertips moving to trace over the new pink scars I had on my shoulder, the raised skin only making more tears fall. it was easy to hide these scars, it was not easy to hide the one under my bottom lip. I ran my thumb there, felt the slight raise but the motion reminded me of something else. 

I could picture myself so clearly in the front seat of harry's car. see myself leaving over the center console, Harry's warm hand cupping my cheek as his thumb traced the line of my bottom lip. "you always do that thing with your pen and it drives me crazy,"  he whispered, face so close to mine as I anticipated a kiss, my lashes fluttering ready to fall if he leaned any closer. "what?" I had asked not knowing anything about my own oblivion. " you place your pen right," he placed his finger to my lip dragging it back and forth, "here, and every time I think I can handle not thinking about kissing you for a second and it all goes out the window when I see you lift your pen to place it right where my lips should be,"  

and now I stood here looking myself in the mirror, hundreds of miles from harry, from the front seat of his car, from one last kiss. 

present time

I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes trying to compose myself as I sat in the living room of my apartment. sam already sleeping in bad as I took a break from cleaning up the mess from her playing after dinner. I had called fletcher to vent about the events that had transpired when I had seen harry. fletcher had been mostly silent, he said he would take a step back from our relationship, not wanting his feelings to bleed into our relationship. but I was scared of what would happen tomorrow, scared that sam wouldnt like harry, scared that he wouldnt like her although I knew that was almost impossible. 

and I cleaned the whole apartment, not knowing what harry would thinking stepping foot into my small space. I had never imagined him ever walking into the building let alone into my living room. when I finally fell asleep I was restless, rolling over and over until sam came in ready to get dressed for the day. 

and work was all too short before harry was asking for the address and sam was being dropped off by Ashton. I stood checking my mail, sam next to me as she talked about her day, twisting the toy dinosaur in her hands as Owen came from the elevator and to his mailbox next to me. 

"Rosie! im glad I caught you," he chuckled as I turned to smile at him politely. I had almost completely forgotten about our date, and the next one at that. "so about coffee I was wondering if leaving at let's say-"

but he was cut off by the clearing of someone's throat. both Owen and I turned to see Harry standing by the doorway of the mailroom holding a box of cookies. "hey," he smiled, and next to me sam looked up, lifting her small hand and waving it in Harry's direction. "hi," her sweet little voice the only sound in the room. 

Harry's eyes instantly went to look at her small frame. sams hair wild from playing outside, the curls a frizzy mess, cheeks red as he gave him her little crooked dimpled smile. she was dressed in her overalls and little rainboots, grass stains on her knees. I watched slowly as Harry's face turned up into a smile he tried to hide. it warmed my heart watching him as stood there, shoulders coated in an array of water droplets from the rain, curls coated in a light mist, cheeks flushed, and the same green eyes as sams looking right back down to her. 

"I um brought cookies, I didn't know if she had allergies so I made sure they were you know gluten-free, vegan, peanut-less," he chuckled shrugging his shoulders as he took a few steps closer eyes still flickering to sam. 

"thank you," I whispered as Owen cleared his throat next to us. "oh um harry this is Owen my um," my eyes went a little wide as I muttered a weak, "neighbor..."

"and friend," Owen smiled holding a hand out to harry. both of them looked each other up and down as harry took Ownes outstretched hand for a quick shake. 

"and Owen this is harry my um...," I felt myself freeze not knowing what to say. "yeah, um Owen you can just text me the plans, um, let's go sam," I muttered bending over to lift sam up to take to the elevator. 

"sure Rosie no problem, im excited for our date," Owen smiled as harry followed close behind me. 

"yeah me too," I smiled awkwardly as I hurriedly tried to press the button for my floor. 

as the elevator doors closed harry whispered, "date?" next to me, both of us looking forward to the meatal doors not peeking at one another. 

"we broke up a long time ago," I whisper and I can see him nod. 

I look to sam who was in my arms, her eyes fixed on her dinosaur as she spun it in her hand. 

already I knew I'd be full of conflicting emotions the second harry left. 

thank you so much for reading :)