Harry || h.s.

1.8- Harry

I hated to see her cry, hated how beautiful she looked, hated how much I was wrapped around her finger still after all this time. I loved her so fucking much and I was hurting her and she was hurting me. 

the photo album had hurt more than anything I had felt before. to see Rosie, to see our daughter. 

Samantha Anne Styles. 

she had named her after my mother and I loved her so much for it and it hurt so bad. 

"we shared an amazing night together and I- I wanted you back, I wanted you back so so so badly," her voice cracked her hand flying up to wipe at her tears now coming down hard. "I wanted you back and when I found out I was pregnant I knew I had to have you back, it was as if the fates wanted me and you to be together for good. tied though this little baby, our baby."

"Rosie-"

"no don't Rosie me, I know where this leads," she started to get up. "you left me alone in that hotel room. left me with no goodbye, you didn't even leave a trace of you,"

"Rosie please,"

"no harry no!" she said looking over me. "you left me! I wanted you! I made my choice to stay to be with you and you left me there!" I had never seen her this angry before, never seen her yell like she was. but I was hurt just as she was and I knew it wasn't the same, I knew she deserved this anger but I deserved mine.

"you left me first!" the words left my mouth before I knew what was happing.

she shook her head, I'd never seen her look this hurt. "fuck you,"

I never thought I would see the day when Rosie said a bad word. and now I sat shocked as she slammed the door behind her. I could see her in the glass of the windows moving to her car. I got up following her out.  gravel rough under my boots as I rushed over, my emotions a mix of everything and nothing at all. 

she fumbled with her keys, they fell to the floor and she bent to pick them up. her shoulders shaking with sobs she sat back on the heels of her feet now crying into her hands. I knelt down next to her before taking her into my arms and hugging her after so many years of not being able to. she curled into me, wrapping her arms around my neck, pressing her face into the crook of my shoulder. "I'm so sorry I didn't mean it," she cried but I shook my head holding her closer. 

I held her and it felt as if all the years we had spent apart had gone away and we were just teenagers in love again. and fuck I love her so fucking much nothing would make me turn away. "It was my fault I know I crossed a line, I'm sorry," I whispered into her hair, still smelling of strawberries.

"you dont even know how my life changed after what max did to me, what I went through, I still have scars on my body from that night, the pain, the terror I felt then and after. I left you because I never wanted to associate those bad feelings with you. even now I get scared, even now I worry countless hours over what happened. it changed everything. everything. and you were something I never wanted to let go of but I had to, had to protect whatever we had by letting you go because you showed me what love was, and what max did to me-what max did," she was breaking down right before me, shoulders hunched as she cried, voice strained and rough with fear as she pulled me closer, fist balled into my shirt. "it was not love, and I couldnt bring you down with me, I would never do that. ever. so when I tell you I left you because I had to I mean it, I really did. and you're the only one I've ever loved, only one I've ever trusted with my body, with my soul, only you. so sam is yours and she was made from love, that love that has never died out over the course of years. because Harry I could never stop loving you even when you say things that hurt me, even when you leave me in hotel rooms, even when your managers call me a liar, I will always love you, always," 

I felt my heart bursting as we sat there crouching on the ground next to her car. I knew I felt the same way, knew no matter what I would have come back to her. "Rosie?" my voice shaking as I said her name, the name I dreamed of at night, the name that always found its way to race in my mind. she pulled away to look at me and I cupped her freckled cheek, brushed my thumb over her pink cheek, looked into those brown eyes I had fallen so hard for, and asked her, "can I kiss you?" words whispered so softly in the space between us. 

dark hair framing her face, eyes red-rimmed from crying tears that still found a way to slip even now, she nodded. 

I leaned forward pressing my lips to hers lightly before pulling away her lashes fluttering closed as I deepened the kiss we had both been waiting so long to share once more. I could taste her tears on my tongue, her body curved into mine and I almost stumbled until I pulled us both up to stand. I didn't know how hungry we both were for one another, didn't know until we were here locked together as I leaned her against her car, until her fingers were locked in my hair, pulling me closer to her. both of us not wanting to break apart until she pulled away.

we both breathed deeply trying to catch our breath as we stood forehead to forehead, nose to nose. my hands on her full hips, her arms around my neck, she didn't open her eyes for a bit before she opened them looking back at me. "I'll always love you, Rosie, I never stopped loving you and I know I never will," her eyes closed again as she pulled me into a tight hug, her standing on her toes to press her face into my neck. 

I felt myself crushing her to me, never wanting to let her go, I had lost her one too many times. 

but she pulled away again, "I have to go, I have to pick up sam," she shook her head, "I have to think and I'm sure you have to," 

I nodded as she slid her hands to my chest, hands gripping my shirt before she let me go. I let my hands fall away from her and she looked up at me with sad eyes. 

"I want to meet her," I state, "I want to get to know her,"

Rosie gives me a small smile, nodding her head, "you can see her tomorrow night if you'd like. by the time I pick her up today she will be passed out, and once she down she sleeps forever," she laughs and I can't help but chuckle with her. 

"I'll always be free for you," 

"I need you to always be free for her, I don't care if you hurt me but if you hurt her I won't forgive you," 

"I promise," I whisper knowing the words are true. 

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