Harry || h.s.

1.7- Rosie

I almost didn't know what to do with myself after I got back home. sam went straight to bed after her bath and I sat up. fletcher had been pissed but he tucked his own feelings away to console me. I wanted to talk with him, wanted to explain myself more, and yet I felt I shouldn't have to explain anymore.

I showered to try and clear my mind, picked up the apartment, anything to try and keep my mind running. all my emotions running wild whenever I saw harry, no matter what was happening I always felt some pull to him.

even sitting on my bed I held my phone ready to text him an apology, an apology that I didn't need to give but felt I needed to. fletcher would have been mad at me for even trying to apologize. but as I held my phone it lit up with a phone call. harry's name flashing across the screen.

I picked up biting at my nail as I did.

"Hello," I muttered feeling the word come out uneasy.

"hi," he breathed voice just as uncertain as my own. 

"I'm sorry," we both rushed out at the same time and it caused us both to chuckle dryly. 

both of us were silent for a painfully long time. I could hear his breathing over the phone as weird as it was, it was a comforting sound. 

"do you think we could talk...in person?" he whispered. "I want no need to just talk this out. It's been so long since we really did that and I think it would be best," 

"Okay," my voice low and uncertain, I didn't know what I was feeling all I knew was I was a mix of confusing emotions. "are you free tomorrow evening?"

"I'm free if you want to meet at the diner," 

"sure," images of us there together in high school flooded into my mind. our first kiss, first deep conversation, all the times spent doing math homework over a plate of fries and glasses of chocolate milk. I hadn't been back there since he took me last almost eleven years ago. I couldn't even believe it had been that long. 

"five?"

"works good with me," 

"ill see you there Rosie,"

"see you there harry," and just as soon as he had called the line cut off. 

and the next day I had gone to work just as always but this time each passing minute felt like an hour, my knees shaking. I kept chipping at my nail polish, kept biting at my lip. I had asked Ashton if he could take sam a little longer tonight and he had agreed without question. and I felt bad for having him watch her so much recently but I didn't know how it would all go over if I brought sam with me today. 

I drove to the diner, sat in my car thinking over anything and everything as I waited for the exact time we had set to walk in. I had brought a photo album for him not knowing what else to bring. but I knew he deserved that. 

I had parked on the side of the building and as I got out of the car I noticed harry getting out of a car at the front of the building. he looked so good dressed in jeans and a button-down, hand running through his hair as he moved to the door, teeth worrying at his lip. 

I followed in soon after to see him sitting down at one of the old booths. I made my way over, my grip on the photo album making my knuckles white as I muttered a weak hi. 

"hi," he replied a small strained smile on his lips as I took a seat across from him. 

"I um, I brought you this," I say placing the album down on the table. 

both of us can't seem to meet the eyes of the other as he slides the album closer to him to open. I watch as he looks over the first page, the photo of me holding sam after she had just been born. you could see so much emotion written on my face as cried, holding her small pink body against my own for the first time ever. her name written under the image and her birthday. he ran his thumb over my handwriting, "Samantha Anne Styles," I watched as he bit his lip hard, jaw clenched. 

"you always told me so much about your mom and how much you loved her before and after she passed and-and," I cut myself off tripping overall explanations, I didn't know how he would feel about it. 

he placed his elbow on the table, hand moving to cover his mouth as he turned to the next page. here is a collage of the ultrasound photos taken before she was born. the page next to it photos of me pregnant. 

I watched as he traced his finger down the images, hand still clasped over his mouth, hair falling in his eyes so I couldn't see what he was thinking, how he was feeling. he flipped to the next page all of sam when she was so little. pictures of her with his parents, the twins, fletcher. I heard him sniffling and then he shut the album hand that had once been covering his mouth now whipping at his eyes. 

"I'm so fucking sorry Rosie," he muttered shaking his head.

"harry-"

"I left you my number I swear I did, I wrote you a note telling you where I was going, I left my number, I left it at the door," he looked up at me eyes rimmed red, "why didn't you call me?" 

"you didn't leave any letter, I couldn't call you when I didn't have your number, and I called your manager over and over and over-"

"I left a letter right outside your door-"

"I didn't get it," I mutter feeling my chin quiver,  "do you really think I wouldn't have called you after that night? after finding out I was pregnant? harry everything I told you that night was true, I would have done anything to stay with you again, pregnant or not, but you left me," I started crying then, "I wanted you, I wanted you more than anything, anything,"

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sorry for the weak chapters as of late :((