amelie has been really clingy since she heard about josh and nessa fucking. she's my bestfriend and obviously wants to be here for me. i tell her i'm fine and he'll i act like i am too. but i'm not. it hurts. it hurts knowing that i'm the one he played. i'm the one that was stupid enough to fall for him so he could make his ex jealous. he would kiss me and tell me i was amazing. that happened for months. it was all a lie. a lie that i was dumb enough to believe. it's a terrible feeling when you feel used. i've gotten used to being unwanted but used? that's just sad. i'm not good enough.
i told everyone to not let this ruin their friendships with josh because they've all known him forever while i just recently met them all. but amelie did not listen. she's been ignoring josh for 2 weeks now. her and i moved to sit somewhere else for lunch. some days the girls will sit with us and other days they sits with the boys. i don't mind it because i didn't wanna get in the middle of anything.
amelie: do you think anthony cut his hair? and jaden whitened his teeth?
you: ya it looks like it
amelie doesn't let blake sit with us at lunch. she doesn't wanna act all lovey dovey and make me upset. it doesn't bother me though. they're happy and i like knowing that. everyone's happy. that's good.
i get into biology.
mr daniels: katelyn you need to go back to your original seat. since you've been sitting with madison, her grade has dropped
i sigh but agree and go hesitantly take my seat next to josh.
josh: hey. um- how ya been?
he scratches the back of his neck.
you: can we just- please not talk? i feel shitty enough as is
he silently nods and looks away from me.
at lunch
amelie and i sit at our table and today all of our friends come over, leaving josh to sit alone.
you: i love you all but can some of you go sit with him? you promised you wouldn't pick sides.
bryce: well we would but-
nessa walks up and sits with josh, kissing his cheek.
addison: he said she was sitting with him
jaden: none of us like her
mads: i was friends with her til she fucking tried to get with jaden
they all nod.
after school
amelie was supposed to be going out with blake but she was at my house instead.
you: go with him. i'm fine. really. i'm good
amelie: no! chicks before dicks
i laugh at her saying.
you; but seriously. go.
amelie: a- are you sure?
you: yes. go.
i practically shove her out my front door then lay on the couch.
...........................
