i've been a complete mess lately. i'm not sure what i'm doing and who i love more. it's saturday finally and i'm laying on the couch trying to think until...
brooke: hi daddy!
brooks and katelyn walk through the door and brooke runs and jumps on me.
josh: hey munchkin *smiles* how was the night at mommy's?
brooke: awesome! we had icecream and watched tv til 9!
i laugh and hug her.
katelyn; i told you not to tell him we stayed up past your bedtime *laughs
brooke does her sneaky little giggle.
josh: we're you good at least?
brooke; mhm
she runs off to her room most likely to get her dolls and i stand up putting my hat on backwards.
josh: you think you could take her again tomorrow night? i'm going out with bryce
katelyn: of course. i was just gonna hang with the girls anyway but they love her so *laughs
josh: alright. thanks
katelyn: it's no problem.
without thinking first i just say what comes to mind.
josh: actually- why dont i have my parents watch her and then you all can come out with us? we haven't hung out like that in forever
katelyn: ya ya that sounds fun
josh: cool
•••
i've just dropped brooke off at my parents for the night and now went back home to change out of my usual sweats and hat. now i'm in ripped jeans and a flannel unbuttoned at the top. not fancy but dressier than sweats.
•••
josh: hey man
i dap up jaden and then ant.
anthony: we haven't seen ya in forever dude
josh: ya sorry bout that. i've been spending more time with brooke on weekends and working more during the week
blake: lame as fuck
josh; you can talk when you have a kid
then katelyn and all the girls walk into the bar.
bryce: dude kates here
josh; i know. i invited her
they look at me shocked.
blake: but-
josh: we're good now
anthony: so you invited katelyn but not jess?
josh: shut up
they give me weird looks before the girls come over.
•••
i'm not wasted but i'm pretty drunk by now. i definitely should not drink anymore for the night. every time i go out now i over drink since i don't go out as often. maybe once a month. when i drink alone i only have a few. but not when i'm with these fuckers.
josh: i- i need to go home
•••
not really sure how i got home but i made it. i stumble into my room and change into sweatpants before laying down. my head is spinning and everything is blurry. all i can do is think. as much fun as i have with katelyn, i'm engaged to jess. she has my heart. i may be able to forgive kate for how she left but i'll never forget the pain she put me through while doing it. jess has never hurt me and j don't think she's gonna. i love jess so much.
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