i'm not religious. like- at all. never have been. i don't believe in god and that type of stuff. in my mind- it's all bullshit. but right now screw my beliefs. i'm sitting here praying that brooke is gonna push through and be alright. until someone walks in.
amelie: she's strong. she'll be okay
she comes over hugging me before sitting next to me.
josh: h- how'd you get back here? th- they won't even let me mom
amelie: i um... i said it brookes mom. sorry. i just figured you needed someone to talk to instead of going crazy back here alone
she places her head on my shoulder.
amelie: wherever the hell kate is- i bet she's praying too.
josh: she doesn't even fucking know about any of it. she doesn't even know brookes name
amelie: that doesn't mean she still doesn't pray for you both everyday. and plus- mother's intuition. i bet she knows something is wrong and is praying for her. just trust me j.
i don't believe it but i nod anyway.
amelie: how are you?
josh: i'm fine
amelie: you don't look fine with that broken leg of yours
josh; i'm fine amelie
amelie: then you won't mind if i-
she slaps my leg and i yell in pain.
josh: shit!! what was that for??
amelie: your not okay. have you taken your pain killers yet today?
i stay quiet.
amelie: your not helping her by hurting yourself ya know?
josh: if the medicine isn't gonna help brooke then it won't help me
amelie: don't you think that when she wakes up she's gonna want you to be ok?
i don't say anything again.
amelie: the only way you can help her right now is by making sure your alright. when she wakes up she's probably gonna be in a lot of pain and just want her dad. it'll be 10 times easier if your feeling well, for you to be there for her.
i hesitantly nod. she's right.
amelie: come on. let's go get your medicine then go get you some food. you've been here for days now and haven't eaten a thing.
she hands me my crutches and i use them to get up.
•••
after eating and sitting in the waiting room with my family for a bit, a doctor comes out.
doctor: her heart had stopped
my mouth falls open and i feel my eyes swell up.
doctor: but- we had fixed it in time. and somehow, she's starting to wake up. only a few visitors at a time.
he points to me and amelie first. obviously me since i'm her father, but he pointed to amelie since she told them she was brookes mom. we both go back. amelie decides to stand in the hall for a minute to allow me to see brooke alone. i step on and see her. i quickly go sit on the side of her bed, being very careful not to hurt her. very very slowly her eyes open.
brooks: d- daddy?
her voice is soft and weak.
josh: hey munchkin
i laugh the smallest bit.
josh: h- how are you feeling?
brooke: everyfing huwts
josh: aww princess
i lean down moving the hair off her forehead and kissing it.
josh: your sweating. *laughs* you slept in clothes
she looks down and realizes she's in a little hospital gown. at first i didn't realize, but she had placed her hand in mine.
josh: y- you can move your hand?? can you move your toes for me?
i look at her feet wheee her tiny toes are wiggling back and forth. i smile. thank god she's not paralyzed. amelie steps in smiling.
amelie: hey brookie
brooke smiles a bit up at her favorite aunt.
•••
after everyone took turns coming in for little visits, visiting hours were over. they all had to leave. except me and amelie. they still think she's the mom. for a while now i've been laying next to brooke in her bed while she sleeps.
amelie: i told you she was gonna push through
josh: ya you were right *smiles
amelie: i'm always right
she laughs a bit.
•••••••••••••••••••••
