brooke has been awake i'm here for over a week now. today they're finally letting me take her home.
doctor: she has to keep the brace in her neck at all times which is probably gonna make her sleep very uncomfortably. and then she needs to come back in two weeks to get her cast off of her arm. and we'll check on her neck
josh: ok
they unhook her from all the machines. since i'm on crutches, carmen holds brooke.
•••
we get home. since i can't do stairs and brooke wants to be near me, she's gonna be sleeping in my bed for a while.
after carmen exits, i sit on the bed taking my shirt off.
josh: want your clothes off brooke?
she nods and takes her pants off so she's in her pull up. then i carefully pull her shirt over her neck brace and head.
brooke: daddy it huwts
josh: i know baby but you've gotta leave it on. it will get better faster.
brooke: b- but-
josh: no buts brooklyn.
i lay down, propping my leg up on a pillow and hold out my arm. she lays on my arm and then i made sure her neck is sitting in an ok position.
josh: that hurt?
brooke: no
josh: ok. i love you
i reach over and turn off the lamp before kissing brookes head.
brooke: wuv you too
•••
brooke woke up 4 times that night crying because she's in pain. god i feel terrible. i just wanna take all that pain away. doesn't every parent want that for their kid?
i wake up again to brooke crying and tugging at her brace.
josh: no!
i quickly pull her hands away.
josh: you can't do that brooklyn
i wipe some of her tears with my thumb.
brooke: d- daddy i- i can't sweep
she sniffles and her little nose begins to run. i grab a fissure from the nightstand and wipe it.
josh: do you need anything? water? food? it's not time for medicine yet
she shakes her head no.
josh: why don't we go get some air and calm down for a bit?
she nods and sniffles again. it's summer in miami meaning it's hot at all times. i use my crutches to get up. brooke stands on the bed and makes grabby hands at me.
josh: i can't carry you munchkin. you gotta walk
she gets down and walks to the back door as i follow.
•••
we are seated on the outdoor couch. i am sitting with my leg up. now brooke decides she's tired so she climbs on me and lays on me.
josh: why-
i was gonna suggest we go back in to bed but she seems comfy right now and if it takes sleeping out here to get her through the night, so be it. she brought her little blanket out, so i cover the both of us. mainly her. soon enough, i hear her lightly snoring like always. it just makes me smile.
•••
i open the front door.
katelyn: hey josh....
she flashes a slight smile but her face is filled with regret.
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