my mother walks in.
michelle: so? anything in there? what's wrong josh?
josh: th- the baby. i- it's mine. and katelyns. b- but she's gone. she left. she left me with th- the baby, her house, connor industries, a- and 4 million dollars. sh- she's not c- coming back mom
she wraps her arms around me as i cry.
josh: w- what am i gonna do? i'm 18 for gods sake and i have a kid!
michelle; hey hey. it's alright. i'm here for you. we're all gonna help you. alright?
she continues to hug me since liv is watching the baby- my daughter. i wanna be mad at katelyn for leaving but i understand her reasoning. she still shouldn't have left though. once i've at least stopped crying , my mom and i go into the living room.
liv: what's going on?
michelle: liv hunny why don't we leave josh alone for a bit. let him hold the baby
i stay quiet as liv placed my child into my arms before exiting the room with my mom. wow. i'm holding my daughter. she's so tiny. her eyes- they're the same as katelyns. she starts to cry. oh god. im not good with kids. i never have been.
josh: p- please don't cry. you want a binky? or bottle? diaper change?
i checked the small bag that was attached to the carrier. she spit out the binky, pushed they bottle away, and i don't know how to change a diaper!! i'm on the verge of crying again. i sit back on the couch holding my baby in one arm and with the other, im running my fingers through my hair frustrated. my mom peeks around three corner because she heard the crying.
michelle: here. why don't you go rest? you've had a rough night
she takes the baby and i head to my room curling into a ball on my bed. the note said not to call because she changed her number, but i called kate's phone 6 times. no answer. i start to think about these past months after jordan died. she's been different. more sad and distant. has she been hiding her pregnancy from everyone? oh god. all of our friends probably don't even know she's gone.
after jordan passed, katelyn moved in with amelie for about 4 months. then she finally went back to her house. she must've been planning to leave for months. she couldn't even tell me. i wanna be furious with her, but i also wanna be upset that she left me and our daughter. how could she do this to me? to us? i'm not even 19 yet and i'm a single dad who's fucking heartbroken. i cant even change a god damn diaper. hell- i can't even think of a name for our baby. i'm a mess.
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