the bus ride home was calm and normal. i sat with addison for a while. then josh for a bit. we couldn't kiss around our friends or anything because we don't want anyone knowing he cheated on nessa.
...
i get home and unpack. my dads not home which is kinda disappointing because i haven't seen much of him since logan and caden left.
___________________________________
joshua❤️
_________
josh
hey bad news
katelyn
?
josh
nessa won't be home for
another week. meaning we
gotta keep hiding this.
katelyn
that's ok i guess. it's only a
week
josh
ya. i'll see ya at school
tomorrow alright?
katelyn
ok❤️
josh
😘
___________________________________
i go out to the backyard where steven is grilling.
you: hey
steven: hey how was the trip?
you: good. watcha cooking?
steven: one of your favorites. steak with grilled mushrooms and peppers
you: what would i do without you
steven: you'd starve
i laugh and lay out in the sun with cookie on my lap.
carmen: kate your father can't make it home tonight. i'm sorry
you: it's ok
i go to my room. i really just wanted to see him. i start to think. it's nearing christmas time. my dad is always home christmas morning. this year has been different. he's been working more than usual. what if he isn't home for it this year? i'll feel lonely as hell.
i also start to think about my dads business. he's talked about me taking over one day. he loves his work but i don't think i can sit in an office all day. especially if and when i have a family. i don't want them to feel as lonely as i usually do.
i'm not sure why i'm thinking about all this. it just crossed my mind i guess.
...
after dinner i lay in my bed. i don't do anything. just lay there all night. it was kinda calming and relaxing to just think.
............................
