today i'm trying to move into kate's old house. i want to. i don't want to. i'm not sure how i feel about it actually. moving in my ex girlfriends old house with our baby. at least carmen and steven are there so i'm not completely alone. they will take care of cooking and cleaning which helps a lot. but this also means i'm going back to work this week. i haven't been working since brooklyn showed up and i don't wanna leave her at the house. but once again, she won't be fully alone.
•••
michelle: josh hunny do you have all your things?
josh: i- i think.
i go double check my room making sure i have everything. yup.
michelle: you sure your ready for this?
i nod a bit.
josh: i think i am. i wanna be ready. but i- i still miss her. a- and moving in there-
michelle: i know. it's gonna make you miss her more
she hugs me.
michelle: your gonna be okay. you make a great dad. and you've already worked out to make sure you have less work hours.
i nod and wipe away the few small tears. my whole family drives over in a separate car. i'm met at the door with carmen. she immediately hugs me.
carmen: how are you holding up?
josh: eh
carmen: i know. i miss her too.
my mom comes up with brooke in her arms. she hands her to carmen who smiled at her.
carmen: you decide on a name?
josh: ya. brooklyn jane connor richards
carmen: i like it
i smile a bit, lightening up. i take a little walk through the house alone while holding brooke. i get to jordan's old room.
josh: this was your grandpas room. ya. now this is daddy's room
then i walk through other parts of the house. i get to katelyns old room.
josh: this is mommy's old room. it's gonna be your room.
•••
we've unloaded all my stuff into the house. when kate left, she only took her personal belongings. every thing else is still there. like furniture and decorations. also, we didn't end up putting brookes stuff in kate's old room. i just couldn't do it. this whole house reminds me of katelyn but her room the most. i just couldn't stand going in there all the time to get brooke.
•••
then my family went home. steven went home for the night. carmen lives here but is asleep now. i'm sitting in my bed, which was jordan's old bed, shirtless. brooke is just in her diaper, sleeping soundly on my chest. i've never been in jordan's room before today. it's a little weird tbh. he was my boss. but then he told me i was like a son to him. now i'm running his company. it's weird how all of this is turning out. just a year and a half ago, i was running errands for the founder/owner of connor industries. then i was dating his daughter. now i'm here. they're both gone. i'm living in their old house, running connor industries, and fathering our kid without kate. and it's gonna be hard. but i'm not giving up on brooke. katelyn may have given up on us, but i won't give up on brooke. i won't do it.
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