that's it. he's really gone. i have no parents now. i feel more alone than i ever have.
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when josh took me home, he asked me if i wanted him to stay but i told him he could go. as much as i felt alone, i wanted to be alone.
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i don't understand. my dad was doing good i thought. he told me he was doing good. but i heard the divots talking before we left. something was pushing on his lung. making the cancer worse. what could be pushing on his lung? was it from the fall? has he slowly been dying ever since? god i'm stupid. he didn't even tell me. i miss him so much. i wish in his lifetime i would've gotten to spend more time with him. he was always working. that was his priority. but it was to give me a good life. but i just wanted him home. i should've said something. maybe he would've listened and we could've spent more time together.
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this is less than 200 words. sorry. wasn't completely sure what to write in this one. sorry! some good stuff coming in the next chapter or two though. it'll make up for this crappy one
