✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

There's A Difference

Riverside Drive, NYC (Home) (Allie's Perspective)
As soon as I got home from the airport I collapsed onto my bed. This entire day was exhausting. I then realized I couldn't rest. I start school in a couple of days and I haven't gone shopping or gotten supplies.
"Joy??"
"Omg, are you back??"
"Duh! Hey, are you free tomorrow?"
"Most likely. Are you coming over???"
"Maybe. We have some shopping to do."
"YAY! Okay, give me a time and I'll ask Mom and Dad."
"What about 1:30??"
"Sounds good! I'll ask right now!" I got off of the phone with my bestie and sat up. I'm home. I just got back from a "rehabilitating" trip from Utah, and my life is going to be 'totally different' from this moment forward.
"Allison?" I sat up to see Dad at my door. I waved and fixed my shirt.
"Your brothers and sister are downstairs arguing about whether or no we should get sushi or ramen. What's your pick?"
"Either one. I don't care."
"Looks like your Mom and I have to be the tiebreakers."
"Yeah."
"Dad?"
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry. It was very rude of me to lash out at you physically and verbally."
"It's okay, I accept your apology. I'm not mad."
"You're not?"
"Allie, you're 12 and you've been through so much during your life and I understand that you don't know how to manage the feelings you have as a result of these experiences. Even when I do get mad or disappointed in you sometimes, I remind myself of what you've been through and it all fades away." I smiled.
"Thanks..for everything."
"You're welcome, Allison Maya."
*****************
The Master Bedroom (11:35 PM) (Peter's Perspective)
"So how was Utah?" I asked my wife as I set my book down. The last three weeks haven't been easy on both sides. Amaya and I have had a bit of a rough patch and from the texts that I got from Mariska, Allison had some struggles.
"It didn't have the best start but it ended up being possibly one of the best trips I've taken with any of our kids."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I learned the reason why Allison struggles to open up."
"What is it?"
"In one of her old foster homes, Allie said that she opened up about her assault after her foster parents kept asking her why she'd keep wetting the bed and crying at night. They didn't believe her though, and essentially got rid of her because of it. I don't get it though, how can you want to be a foster parent but not want to care for kids like Allison. They wrote her off as difficult when all she needed was some love and support." I was shocked. It explains so much.

4 years ago
"What happened sweetheart?" Allison wouldn't come out from under the bed and refused to talk to me.
"You're not going to believe me." She wailed.
"Honey, what do you mean? Of course, I'd believe you. What happened? Did you have a nightmare?" She began to cry even louder.
"Don't say that! It's not just a dumb nightmare!"

"How could someone not believe-" I sighed.
"They're partially to blame for her current state as well. I can't imagine being told that my story was a lie over and over again and being placed back into a home because of it. No wonder she never wanted to talk to us."
"Right? It unlocks a whole new world. Um, so how was it having the kids for three whole weeks?"
"It could've been better."
"You told me about Amaya, what happened there?"
"She feels like we've been babying her." Mariska nodded.
"I didn't tell her about why Allie was gone and it manifested into a full-on war between us while you were gone, and while it thought it was trivial at first, I realized that it was necessary or we would've never known that Amaya was feeling that way. You know how she is."
"Amaya is sort of like me in that way. She can be so introverted and keep things to herself, sometimes the wrong things and it leads to instances like that. And you'd never know she was feeling upset."
"Not at all." I sighed.
*****************
Urban Outfitters (1333 Broadway) (Allie's Perspective)
"Why the hell is it so hot??" I complained.
"Welcome back to New York." I rolled my eyes jokingly. I looked through the rack of clothes in search of something to wear for the first day of school. I was the least prepared out of my siblings, considering I was gone for three weeks, no one could buy me anything if I wasn't there to see it. I mean, I have the essentials like notebooks, pencils, folders, a bag, but no clothes.
"That looks cute!" Joy told me.
"I know! I'm coming into 8th grade with an entirely new vibe. I just...kind of want to be different."
"Why?" My best friend asked me.
"Mainly because I feel different. I'm not the same Allie I was a couple of months ago. I want to disassociate from that." Joy stared at me as I took some more clothes off of the rack.
"What do you mean? You seem the same." She said.
"You wouldn't get it."
"Is this about Felix?" She asked me. I shivered at the sound of his name.
"And the whole world knowing private information about me? Yes. It's just, I was able to live my life and go to school and have only you guys and my Mom and Dad knowing that I was assaulted before...but now everyone knows and everyone's treating me differently because of it. So I'm not that Allie anymore." I stated.
"But Allie, you're the same person you were before Felix approached you on the street. You're still smiling and joking and stuff." I don't want to get into this with my best friend.
"I just feel different under the surface, Joy. That's it." There's no sense in trying to explain anymore. She'll never understand what I'm trying to say. I think I'll just keep these thoughts to myself for the moment.
"Oh. Allie, have you seen Josh yet??" She asked me. I smiled shyly.
"No, I'm going to see him after we finish shopping."
"Ooooo, you guys spent three whole weeks apart, are you doing anything special now that you're back."
"Joy! No! We've literally been separated for longer, there's nothing special waiting for him."
"Sure. Whatever. We're going into 8th grade. That agreement that you guys made is becoming more and more real by the moment."
"It's valid on the first day of school."
"Ohhh, so you're saving the special stuff for then?"
"Maybe."
*****************
Grace Street Desserts (3:45 PM) (Josh's Perspective)
"Allie!!" I shouted once I saw high bun.
"Joshua!" She ran up to me and hugged me.
"I missed you! A lot!" She kissed my cheek before leading me to the table she secured for us.
"Missed you too! How are you feeling?"
"Alright, considering. What about you, Josh?? While I was stuck in Utah you forgot to inform me about how annoying your brother is and how much you loathed having your relatives over. You were being quite boring."
"To be fair, I thought it was rude as hell to talk about trivial shit while you were clearly traumatized."
"See, here's where you're going wrong. Sometimes, you guys telling me 'trivial shit' makes me laugh and forget, just for the slightest moment, about the things that I'm going through. Little bursts of happiness mean the world to me. Everyone tries to censor themselves around me because of the last few weeks but it just makes me feel worse. It reminds me of what's going on more."
"Oh...you've never told me that. But Allie, ignoring your issues doesn't make them any better though, people ask and are careful around you because they care."
"I know. I'm not trying to ignore my problems. I just don't want to be constantly reminded of them. I wish Felix never approached me that day. Now, every day I have to be constantly reminded of how he assaulted me." She sighed.
"I forgot to tell you...Mom invited our Aunt Monica to stay for three weeks."
"Why??" She asked in an intrigued tone.
"She's getting divorced...again. It's becoming a running joke now." Allie burst out in laughter.
"What did your Mom have to say about it this time??" As I explained to her how annoyed my Mom was about it, I noticed the big smile on her face. She seemed happy, and if this is what I have to do to see that smile, I'll do it all day, every day.