✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

(I) Did Some Digging

Sunday, April 8th (Monroeville, PA) (Peter's Perspective)
After the confrontation with Felix's adoptive mother, I headed straight to Pennsylvania. I made it here early so I took a nap in my car before heading to my next stop.

"I did some digging. Allie and her family lived in Monroeville, a town outside of Pittsburgh." David showed me some photos of them.
"How did you find these?"
"As I said, I did some digging."

I was parked in front of Allison's childhood home.

They were well off. I wonder how Allie's parents would feel about what's taken place since their demise. Allie was left with some of their money, we put it away into an account for when she's older. Why didn't they assign the kids a guardian in case something happened? Everything was in order except that.

"Hello, who are you?" A man in his 30's asked. He was in a robe and clearly fresh out of the shower.
"I'm Karl, nice to meet you. You used to be neighbors with the Corbin's?" We shook hands.
"I'm Fredrick, nice to meet you too. Yes, it's a shame what happened. Why are you asking?" Should I tell the truth or lie?
"I'm the adoptive father of their daughter, Allie. She's been having some questions and I promised to get her some answers." I could tell that he was sympathetic to my cause.
"Of course, please come in." I guess fibbing works. The house was nicely decorated from what I could see.
"Please, sit." Fredrick brought over some biscuits and coffee.
"I'm sorry, I wish I could have more but we've all just finished with breakfast."
"It's alright, don't worry."
"So, what questions do you have?"
"Allie is having a hard time remembering the past...could you tell me what their family was like?"
"They were such a close-knit family! Alex worked so hard, and so did Margaret. Felix was very smart and sweet. Allie was an angel. The kids came over often."
"Oh really?"
"Yes, Allie seemed to enjoy being over here a lot. There would be times where she cried when her parents picked her up. You know how little kids are." He went on to tell me about the various dinners and parties they've had together and I couldn't help but think: how could they have been so oblivious to what was going on in that house? But then again, if Allie's parents didn't pick up, who am I to think the neighbors did?
"But towards the end...before the car accident, things did change."
"How? What changed?"
"They were leaving their house a lot less. When I saw the kids, Allie was always distraught. One time, they were getting in the car and she was so scared of getting in that she peed her pants. I could...hear them yelling." That's horrible.
"I wanted to call the police, but I couldn't bring myself to. It was horrible seeing Allie that way. But then they got into the car crash, and I'm happy that she's with someone as caring as you." He went on to tell me more and I was stunned. I didn't know that the last couple of months with her family were so horrible.
*************
Lycèe Français de New York (Monday) (Allie's Perspective)
"Allie, can you explain to me how you got your answer?" I nodded. Mommy Mariska and Daddy Peter decided that it would be good for me to go to a French-speaking school for a year to see if I liked it, then I could go to school with my siblings if I wanted.
"I multiplied the one's place and then the tens place. So... 6x4=24 and you carry the two, so 1x4=4 plus two is 6, so the answer is 64, Madame."
"Good job! You get a class point." If you get a lot of class points you get a treat at the end of the week.
"Allison Hermann, report to the main office. Allison Hermann get your belongings and report to the main office, please."
"It's a shame that you have to go, have a good day Allison."
"Thank you." I whispered.
"Bye, Allie! I'll see you at dance!" Maeve told me. Zara waved. This is weird but kind of cool. Why am I being picked up? It's only 11:45! It isn't even lunchtime! I made my way to the office.
"Daddy?" I was surprised.
"You weren't supposed to be back until a couple more days." I hugged him.
"I know. I know, honey. Let's go, okay?"
"Where are we going?"
"You'll see in a second." He said quietly. I was beginning to get a little nervous. Is something wrong? Are Mommy and Daddy in trouble? I got in the car and buckled up.
"I know that I took you out early, but how was school ladybug?"
"It was good." I said quietly.
"Why have you done so far?"
"Math, English, and World Studies. We learned more about World War II. It was interesting. History is my favorite."
"Really? I loved history when I was younger too. I have some cool historical books in my office if you'd like to check them out."
"Yes please!" It was nice to spend time with Daddy Peter but I was still a bit worried. Sometimes when I'm not told anything I get really scared, I need to know what's going on. Daddy wouldn't tell me anything so I looked outside to see where we were going. We're in Chelsea now. Are we going by Mama's office?
"We're here." We are going by Mama's office. She told Daddy about what happened when he left. Oh no, I'm in so much trouble.
"Good morning, guys! Here to see M?"
"Yes."
"She's in her office waiting." We walked down the hall and into the room to see Mama at her table waiting.
"Hey, guys. Oh my sweet Allison, come here." I gave her a big hug.
"Sit here, my ladybug." I sat in Mama's lap and Dad played with my fingers.
"We need to have a conversation with you."
******************
My Office (Mariska's Perspective)
"I know that this weekend was tough for you, wasn't it?"
"Yes, it was very sad. I cried until my eyes hurt." Hearing my daughter say that broke my heart.
"Why was this weekend sad for you, bug?"
"Because Mama told me that Felix isn't dead." Allie started to look down.
"I thought he was dead. Why did the nurse lie?" I stroked her back tenderly.
"We don't know why, but Allie look at me, sweetheart. Look at me please." She looked up.
"He is living a family in Maryland."
"WHAT?? He's adopted too? How do you know that?"
"I tracked him down and visited his family-"
"Why would you do that?! What he finds me and hurts me again?! He's gonna know. I can't stay here!" Allie tried to run but I held her in my lap.
"Stop it, let go of me! It isn't safe here!"
"Allie, you are safe. He is far away from here and he does not know where you are."
"But he knows who you are, Dad! What if he tries to find us?"
"Allie, Allie."
"When I...went there I didn't tell them my real name."
"You have a fake name like when we play Super Spy?" He nodded.
"We have security in front of our house at all times, if he ever finds where we live and tries to hurt you he will be dealt with."
"And put away forever?"
"Yes. Forever." Allie was calm now so I lessened my grip. She got up and went by the window seat.
"I still wish you never told me that he was alive."
"And why would you even go find him?!"
^^^^^^^^^^^
Present Day (September 20th)
"Mama, are you super busy?" Allie asked while stepping into my office.
"Nope, what's up?" Allie sat down quietly and played with one of my pens.
"Allison, what is it?" I could always tell when Allie was avoiding something.
"Can we talk about Felix?" I closed my laptop and fixed my eyes on my 12-year-old daughter.
"Y-Yes, of course."
"I just woke up from a nap and it was all about him. I was 8 years old again and you guys were telling me about how he was living with his new family. You guys forced me to see him in the dream."
"Sweetheart-"
"I know the dream isn't real, Mom. Every year around my birthday I have these weird dreams because...even on the one day that I'm supposed to be happy and feel like I matter and be smiling, my brother raped me. I feel like there isn't one day that isn't tarnished by him sometimes. I've been trying to find a way to tell you that for years." She said. We both sat in silence for a moment as I figured out what to say.
"First off, I am so incredibly proud of you for telling me that. That takes a lot of strength. Those feelings, the flashbacks, the assaults, will never disappear. They are a part of your story and admitting that helps you move forward. I think one thing that you can do is start making some amazing memories so that you can associate your birthday with those instead."
"I like that idea."
"Do you have any already?"
"I think so! My favorite birthday was my 10th birthday. It was awesome because we got to go to Nobu with Selena Gomez and my friends. She gave me my heart locket necklace with that picture of the three of us in it. It's one of my favorites."
"See! I knew that you could do it. Positive associations."
"Positive associations." She repeated. I hugged her tightly. As we reflected on her path birthdays, I couldn't believe that she would be 13 in 4 short hours. She is such an amazing young lady.

A/N: first chapter of the year~