✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

Opening Up

Lila's Bedroom (East 70th Street) (Thursday, August 20th, 5:30 PM) (Amaya's Perspective)
"Maya, you know what I was thinking?"
"What?" I asked my bestie. She went into her drawer and pulled out a piece of paper.
"We should make a 6th-grade checklist!"
"Checklist?"
"Yeah! Of cool things we're all gonna do in 6th grade!"
"Shouldn't we loop everyone else in?"
"We could do it later! Come on! Tell me one thing you wanna do!" I giggled and tapped my chin.
"Well...I know of want to change my style! You see how those middle schoolers dress?"
"They have really good style! It's going on the checklist!" Making this checklist was really fun.
"We can't tell our parents about this stuff or they'll flip."
"Totally. Now come on, we should go paint our nails!"
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Provo, Utah (Friday, August 21st) (3:45 PM) (Mariska's Perspective)
"Woah!" I smiled at my daughter who was admiring the horses.
"This is Lucky. She's really sweet and friendly." Pamela told us.
"What do you think Allie?"
"They're all nice. I'm not sure who I want to ride today though." She petted the horses and fed them.
"She loves them."
"I know, which means she's going to beg for one." I chuckled.
"I think I'll ride Sunny." The beautiful brown horse looked happy to let Allie ride him. We got ready and headed towards the hills. Allie has finished therapy an hour ago, it was just as tear wrenching as yesterday's, and I thought she'd benefit from horseback riding.
"To make improvements, we need to set goals."
"Goals?"
"Yes, they could be big or small. You can make a list and show them to me. We can decide which ones can be done now, and which ones are more long term."
"I think a goal would be to get closer to my Mom."
"Why?"
"Because lately I've been really mean to her and given her a lot of attitude. It isn't fair. And, I don't open up to her much and I'm not as close with her as I used to be. It makes me sad. I don't deserve her." I heard. My eyes began to water and I went back upstairs to give them privacy.

"Isn't this beautiful?" I asked.
"Yep! I'm going to take some pictures before we get back to the house. I want to stick them on my wall. It'll look really cool! It fits my fall vibe."
"Fall vibe? Summer hasn't ended yet."
"I know! You'll see."
"Speaking of fall, your birthday. What do you want to do?"
"Can I have a party? Oh, and I'd love to have a girl's trip! Please? We could go somewhere close...Like Florida. Just for a few days."
"Okay, that's okay with me." She smiled.
"Thanks, Mama. Mom, is it okay if we talk later?"
"Sure. Would you like to go out for a drive?" I asked.
"We can get treats?"
"If that's what you want."
"I'd love that." I patted her back. My sweetheart.
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Swig (Provo, Utah) (Allison's Perspective)
Mom and I got our drinks. We sat outside of the store to enjoy them. Some people came up to Mama for a picture but it was nothing big.
"What did you get again?"
"Riptide. I don't like anything with cream in it or coconut." She took a sip of my drink.
"That tastes good."
"What did you get?"
"Beach Bum." She let me have a sip.
"It tastes very fruity." Mama talked to me about how this trip has been going so far.
"I'm having some fun."
"That's good, that's great." I put my drink down.
"Mom?"
"Yeah?"
"Can we talk?"
"Of course honey, what's on your mind?!" I sighed quietly.
"Mama, I'm really sorry about the way I've been treating you lately. Every time I get upset, I take my anger out on you, and it isn't fair. For a long time now, we haven't been as close as we used to be because of it, and it's my fault, I really, really want to have the mother-daughter relationship we used to have, and I'm sorry if I hurt you with my actions."

"Allie, how about we check these out? Look, we can get a necklace with your name on it. Or your initial, would you like that?"
"Yes, Mama. But I wanna match with you too."
"Hmm, look at this necklace," Mama asked the salesperson if we could try it on.
"It's beautiful. We can get matching ones and your necklace."
"Yes please!" We had to go back another time to pick it up. In the meanwhile, we decided to go get ice cream. Because we were in Hawaii, there were some really interesting flavors.
"Pineapple?" I tried it.
"A bit iffy on that one, huh?" We both laughed.

"Allison, I accept your apology, I know you've been struggling for a while now, yes some of your actions have hurt my feelings, but I forgive you wholeheartedly. Baby, I could never hold a grudge against you. And about our relationship, I'd love to work on it whenever you're ready. How does that sound?"
"Pretty good." I ate my cookies and Mama rubbed my back as we looked at the sunset."
"I'm so proud of you Allison Maya."
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Dinner With The Fam (7:00 PM EST) (Amaya's Perspective)
I finished my plate of food and looked around. We were eating on our deck thing. We have a dining table outside of the penthouse for when it's warm.
"Dad, may I be excused?"
"To do what?" He asked.
"I wanted to go read my book, I'm almost finished with it," I said, lying through my teeth.
"Amaya, there's plenty of time to go read books, let's just enjoy dinner, we haven't been out here too long." What a bummer. I wish Allie was here. She'd bail both of us out in no time.
"What's the matter?"
"Why did Allie go to Utah with Mama and why for three weeks?"
"Amaya-"
"You guys never tell me anything because I'm one of the littles. I'm not little anymore, I can handle that type of information. You guys always baby me."
"Amaya, some things aren't for me to tell."
"It's because of her brother, isn't it? You think I don't know? It was all over the news, Dad. My friends even asked me what happened to her. You don't have to hide it from me." Andrew choked on his water. Dad looked angry.
"Amaya, that is enough, go to your room. Now."
"You guys always treat me like a baby. Maybe this is why Allie is always so sad. You guys probably treat her bad too." I went inside and upstairs to my bedroom. I closed the door and locked it. Ever since I was little, my parents have always treated Andre and I like babies. I know it's because we're the youngest, but I'm not stupid. They even tried to hide the fact that they were celebrities, to protect us. But we already knew. It's just that, Andrew is too scared to say anything to them about it. But not me, I'm not scared.
***************
My Bedroom (Provo, Utah) (9:35 PM MDT) (Allison's Perspective)
Since today was a long day, I really needed a call with my boyfriend. It lightens my spirits about this whole situation.
"It sounds like you guys are having the time of your lived without me," I said.
"No, we could never have that much fun without you." He said, reassuring me."
"Allie, we miss you, please just focus on getting better."
"I am, but it's really painful. I kind of don't like it, it's as painful as the time the basketball slammed into my face and left me injured for weeks and with stitches. I'm unraveling all of these things I've never told anyone before, even you, and it's different having it out there, not in the public, but for the people that know me best to know that info, that I've hidden for years, it's complicated. There's this new normal, now that they know more."
"Know more? You haven't told them everything?" He said with a small laugh, as he attempted to lighten up the mood.
"There's a lot to tell. I could write a really sappy memoir one day with the shit that's going on in my head and my life."
"A long memoir."
"An extremely long memoir with a sequel." We laughed.
"But I truly feel better. I really miss you, Josh."
"I miss you too. If all goes well, when you come back I'll take you to your favorite store?"
"Really?" I asked seriously.
"Yeah."
"That sounds too good to be true. But, I'll trust you. Hey, I'm going to go take a shower now, I'll text you after."
"Cool, talk to you later."
"Yeah, Bye." I hung up and looked at the dark Utah sky. I opened the windows to feel the air and regretted it immediately. It felt so dry.
"Allie? Are you ready to watch the movie?"
"In a few minutes Mama, I have to shower."
***************
Saturday (7:30 AM) (South Jordan, Utah) (Mariska's Perspective)
Today, I'd woken Allie up at 6 in the morning so that we could drive up to Salt Lake. I hadn't told her why. She's been so good these past couple of days, I thought she deserved a shopping trip.
"Where are we going?" She asked tiredly.
"To Salt Lake."
"That sounds nice, who are we seeing?"
"No one, as of now."
"So you're open to the idea of seeing people. Well, I have a request."
"Really? What is that?"
"Can we see Stephanie and Isabella?" Those were the children of one of Peter and I friends. The three are the same age and have always played and hung out with each other whenever we were in Utah.
"You know what, we can. Know why?"
"Why?"
"You've been amazing this week, and if that makes you happy, then we can visit them." She smiled.
"I can't wait! I have to tell them everything that happened before we came here. I have tea to spill."
"Tea?"
"Mhm, honey boba tea to be specific, and that's the best kind, so that means that this tea is exceptionally hot." The both of us laughed at her little joke. I'm happy that we're getting closer again.