✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

Powering Through

"I don't wanna go to sleep, that's so boring." Joy said.
"How about we make Oreo cookies? I'll take some home to Amaya so we can put it in our stash."
"Cool." It was around 9pm and we were on break. This was the perfect time to do craziness!
"Alright. Let's just do the same steps as you would making chocolate chip cookies and just add Oreos in it."
"It's like a chocolate dream."
"What are you guys doing in the kitchen?" Branson asked. He's Joy's older brother and they tend to fight quite a bit. But I can tell that they still love each other.
"Making cookies, something that you can't do." Joy said. He rolled his eyes, took the chocolate chips, and literally ate some of them.
"Branson!" We both exclaimed.
"It's just in my nature."
"He always does that. Don't worry, we'll punish him by not letting him have any cookies."
"Mom says you have to let me have some,"
"And you're not getting any!" I laughed and started to make the batter.
"These cookies will be so good."
********
Shopping
"What exactly are we shopping for again? For our trip this summer or my awards ceremony?"
"Your awards ceremony, then I have to take August out for his graduation to get his clothing."
"Oh." Mama and I have fallen out of touch a little bit recently. She's filming episodes, and I'm out and about, with all of that going on there really isn't much time for connecting.
"How's school?"
"Okay." She nodded and looked through the racks.
"You're okay, right?"
"Yeah, sure." My mother stopped and looked at me.
"That didn't sound convincing."
"I'm fine."
"Alright, if you say so." We kept looking through dresses and she picked out one.
"What about this?"
"No, I don't really like it."
"What's wrong with it?"
"Too much color."
"Okay, looks like we're being picky today." I rolled my eyes and kept looking.
"Excuse me?"
"What?"
"You realize that I didn't have to take you out. Right? I could've let you wear what's in your closet."
"I don't wanna go to that stupid ceremony anyways."
"What are you talking about? I thought you wanted to go."
"No, you thought I wanted to go. I'm just here because I didn't have a choice." I folded my arms and my mother didn't say anything else. I could tell that she was very angry though. She kept looking through dresses and picked out a black dress with gold sparkles.
"You're going, and you're wearing this. I don't want to hear a single peep out of you until we meet up with Peter." She went and bought it and I went into the car quietly. I looked at my phone and Josh had texted me.
Joshy✨: We need to talk. Tell me when you're available.
I could tell that it wasn't good news just because of the words he used. Mama was looking at me from the front. I chose to sat in the back because if I sat in the front she'd start to harass me and I didn't want to hear it. She parked near the restaurant and I got out. Daddy was in the corner and I went to go give him a hug.
"Hey, what's the tension about?" He asked Mama.
"Ask your daughter."
"Wow, she's my daughter whenever something happens."
"She was being harsh with me."
"And you were having an attitude with me."
"We can discuss this later guys let's just have some lunch." I held my fathers hand as we went inside the restaurant. I sat down next to my father when we got to the table and ordered my mother started to talk.
"Allie says she doesn't want to go to her awards ceremony."
"Why?"
"I just don't want to, what's wrong with wanting to not go somewhere? I'm out and about all of the time, I want some me time. Is that a crime?" I asked tiredly.
"I don't even want to be here! I want to go home and go to sleep! Just give me a break! Like is it that so hard? What's so hard to understand about Allison Hermann just wanting a break from life? Let me go to a sleepover or something. Gosh!" My parents sat there in shock as I started to eat my food.
"What?!"
"Allie, we never knew you felt that way."
"Of course you didn't. You know nothing." I ate a bit more and then stopped.
*******
My Room
"What?! Why?!" I said with a tear falling down my cheek.
"No. You're joking Josh-"
"Allie what's-" I held up a finger and my mom stood at the doorway.
"You're really moving?"
"I'm sorry Allie. I tried to convince them."
"So, what about me and you?"
"I dunno. Are we done?"
"Are we?" My mom sat down on the bed and put her arm around me.
"When are you leaving?"
"The 21st."
"Then we'll talk about it when the day comes." I looked at my mother and she gave me a kiss on the forehead.
"Love you Allie."
"Love you." I hung up and started to cry on my mother's shoulder.
"I'm so sorry."
"I don't want him to move away."
"I know Allie. Do you know why?"
"Because his dad got a good job in LA, so they're going to move there."
"We could always go and visit." She had a point as she was from LA.
"I know but, I like waking up and getting to see him everyday."
"You see, these things can't always last forever. And I know it's hard to cope with and to understand, but you will get over this."
"Yeah right, this is like losing my best friend. You don't even understand how I feel."
"I do understand baby. But I don't want you crying over it. Wanna know why?"
"Why?"
"Because while you're over here being angry with the world and crying, you're missing crucial personal time with Joshua. I don't want to tell you to contain your emotions, but at least try not to make them obvious." I gave her a hug and a kiss and she patted my back.
"Go talk to Joshua. I'll get started on dinner."
"I wanna help."
"Talk to Josh." She smiled and closed my door. I held my phone and looked down at the ground. Mama had a point. If I let my emotions take over I'd waste precious time. But how am I supposed to subside them? That's isn't something that I can easily do. But I'd have to try.
My DMs
Me: Wanna play Cup pong?!
notjoshua879: sure Allie. You send
Me: No, it's your turn to send wth.
notjoshua879: whatever.
[Sends Picture Of My Middle Finger And A Heart Emoji]
I-Message notification
Joshy✨: Cup Pong
I held back my tears and played with him. I had to stop myself from thinking about how this could be one of the last times I'll play it with him and being able to go see him the next day and get to brag in his face.
"I can power through it."