✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

And Everything Has Changed (Pt. 2)

The Happy House (Easthampton) (Peter's Perspective)
"Hey Allie, Joy..." It was past midnight. The girls quietly greeted me.
"Are you mad?" Allie asked.
"You should've told us that you'd be staying longer, Al."
"I-I know. I'm sorry, but a lot happened." Allie explained with her eyes glistening. Between me and M, I'm definitely tougher and more likely to discipline, but I could tell something wasn't right.
"What's wrong, Allie?" She dashed upstairs, crying and leaving the floor rumbling in her wake. Joy went after her. There's a part of me that wants to say, we can't do this again, we can't have her spiraling again, but emotions are normal, Allie is allowed to have them, and not every tear shed means a breakdown is on the way. M and I have so much to learn when it comes to that.
"What's going on?" Mariska whispered.
"I don't know, Allie just got back-"
"What?! But it's so late." We walked down the hall to hear sniffles and hushed words.
"Allie? Mommy and Daddy are here for you, bug."
"Can you please tell Dad to go? He's gonna be mad."
"I'm not angry, sweetheart."
"I-It's a girl thing," Joy said.
"Okay, Daddy's going." Mariska looked at me.

3 years ago...
"Allie?"
"I want Dad. I want to tell Dad."
"I'm here, sweetheart." She cried.
"What happened, ladybug?"
"It's a girl thing." She whispered.
"I'm sure I can help. You know I've been married to your Mama for a while, and she tells me her girl stuff." Allie sighed.
"It's about a boy....h-he said that my hair is ugly. What if none of the boys ever like me because my hair is ugly?" She asked.
"Allison Maya, your hair is beautiful. Don't let the words of one boy bring you down. There are plenty of people out there who'd love you for you. And plus-"
"What?"
"If all else fails, you have me."
"Daddy!"

Back to present*

I guess the days of talking to me are over.
********************
The Family Room (1:04 AM) (Mariska's Perspective)
"I saw him. With my own two eyes. He was stroking her arm, just like the way dad does when you guys talk."
"And he's been really distant with Allie, Ms.Hermann. That was like the first time he smiled in a while." I took a second to process the information.
"Are you sure they weren't friends or knew each other?" I asked.
"Mom, please."
"I just wanna know all the details so I can help, honey. I don't mean to upset you."
"I know, it's just. I think he hates me. Like he actually does. The boys got mad at him for it and said that things were like finally good between us, which they were until he started acting weird and he was like, yeah but what about all the other times? This is all my fault." Allie cried.
"Allie-"
"If I wasn't so broken, if I just was calm and talked more and didn't push him away, and didn't run off, and was normal he wouldn't want to flirt with another girl."
"Sweet-"
"Don't even try to tell me no! You know it's true, Mom!"
"Allie?" Joy tried to follow her.
"Just leave me alone. I don't want to do this anymore!" She ran into the basement. Joy sighed.
"I feel really bad. No matter what we tell her, she isn't gonna change her mind on it. Even though she's the most caring and nice person ever." Joy stayed.
"I just wish she knew that."
"Me too," I told Joy to rest before I took a peek into the basement.
"Ladybug, I can hear you. You're hyperventilating. You need to breathe, sweetheart." I heard the hiccups and sniffles and sighed. This is one of those moments that just, make me question everything. I don't for a second regret adopting Allie, but at moments like these, I feel so...helpless. Despite the money, and the resources, it still isn't enough, and I can't protect her from pain.
"I d-don't want to breathe. A-Anymore."
"Please don't say that Allie, there are so many people here who love and care about you."
"But not my boyfriend." She retorted.
"Why is it, when things finally start to go well for me, the universe laughs and makes me suffer all over again? My brother molested me, I thought he died in the crash, but he didn't, he comes back and taunts me, I get a boyfriend, he moves away, comes back, I have a mental breakdown, and then HE STARTS BEING DISTANT AND HE FLIRTS WITH OTHER GIRLS. Things aren't going well, Mom. This stupid medication isn't helping, therapy isn't going to help because we're just going to end up here again."
"There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise."
"Why won't it come already?" She muttered before curling up into a ball and crying into my lap.
"I don't know. I wish I knew. But Allie, you know, one day, this will all be a very distant memory. Maybe, Josh was meant to be a lesson for you, in some way that you just don't understand yet. You're 13, and you have an entire life ahead of you. Let's not waste it crying over a boy who clearly doesn't appreciate you for who you are."
"But it hurts."
"I know. And you're allowed to feel that hurt, but I need you to understand that there's more to life than Josh. You might not get it right this moment, you might not be ready to accept it right this moment, but I need you to at least get that concept in your head. Can you do that for me?" She nodded.
"I get it, but...I think I need time to really feel it, Mama."
"That's okay."
*********************
A Day Later... (Sunday, June 4th)
"Mom ordered Thai," August said.
"Kay, I'll be down later." He stood by the door.
"What?" I asked. He sighed.
"I know you don't really want to get into it, but I'm sorry about Josh." Me and August have our ups and downs, but at the end of the day we still love each other, and I can't be mad at the guy for caring.
"Thanks, I guess."
"Do you need me to-"
"Auggie..."
"Fine, I really wanted to though." There was a moment of silence.
"When you broke up with Emma, did it hurt?" I asked.
"Of course it did, but, you know, life goes on, I have an amazing family and amazing friends, and now I'm with Lys. Are you guys broken up? Like done-done?"
"I don't know what we are right now. I haven't talked to him since Friday. I just...don't know what I want to do about it."
"Trust me, you'll know. You're a very smart girl." August ruffled my hair and left. I wouldn't say that, but I guess so.

I have to make the decision that's right for me, just like I did a month ago when I chose my school. I love Josh, but my parents have always told me that I need to have respect for myself, and staying with someone who's hurt me wouldn't be abiding by that, right? If he does it now, what will stop him from doing it again?

"I just want this to all be over.." I muttered. As I lay on my bed, my mind went back to Lucas, the guy I met at the party.

Flashback*
"What? No way, you watch that too?"
"Yeah... I just don't really talk about it though." I chuckled.
"Who's your favorite character then, from Skins? If you really watch it." He thought for a moment.
"Chris."
"Why him?"
"He's a super goofy guy and caring, but he had so much going on that people don't know about. Like his brother." He gave a good answer.
"You relate to him, don't you?" I asked.
"I guess you could say that." His phone started to go off.
"What's wrong?"
"Curfew. I-I gotta go, my mom's gonna kill me."
"Oh, yeah, go! I wouldn't want you to get in trouble or anything.."
"Wait, could I get your number?" He asked.
"Sure."
"Maybe we could watch an episode together one time."
"And I could learn why you relate to Chris so much?" I said, trying to delve a bit deeper. He gave a weird smile.
"Maybe."
End of Flashback*

"What's that?"

Lucas: hey it's luke, are you still down for a watch party?

I twiddled my thumbs.

Me: sure!
Me: wait, what part of the city are u from

Lucas: uws

He lives near me?

Me: same.
Lucas: how about friday?
Me: cool. text me whenever ur ready.

I threw my phone.

What did I just do?