✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

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1 week later
"Germany was fun and all but, I'm glad to be back here with you."
"Tell me all about it."
"We went to museums and restaurants. There isn't much more to it then that."
"Have you told your parents about us yet?"
"No. I'm not planning to, they didn't react well when they heard I kissed you, what do you think they'll say when they hear us dating?"
"I feel like what they're gonna say is that you're too young. But like majority of the grade are dating each other. But hey, are you going to Joy's Halloween party?"
"I'm not sure if my parents will let me, they're having their own party and a whole bunch of friends and stuff are gonna come over. I don't wanna be a part of it."
"Well It doesn't hurt to ask."
"True."
"Omg It's almost 6:30!"
"Oh yeah, you have to go." He hugged me and kissed me on the forehead and I dashed home. I got home at 6:45 and ran straight to my room to finish up my homework.
"Allie did you eat?"
"No, not yet." I replied while rolling off my bed.
"May I ask why you've been coming home at 6:45 every evening? If I'm covering for you I might as well have a reason." Anne said while sitting on my bed.
"I'm just with my friends basically. That's all."
"I know you have a boyfriend." I turned around so quickly my neck could've snapped.
"Where'd you get that from?"
"Your behavior, and you tend to leave your phone behind a lot." She said with laughter.
"Please don't tell my parents."
"I won't, you know I get it. But I want to ask you, are you okay with being affectionate with him? Or do you think you'll start having flashbacks?"
"Well the most he does is hug me and kiss me on top of my head. I asked him to not kiss me on the cheek or lips, I don't feel comfortable with that at the moment. I still have stuff to deal with, I was telling my therapist that the other day."
"That's good that you have boundaries set, what will you do if he breaks them?"
"I've never thought about that."
***
"How's school?"
"Fine." I ate my pancake while staring out the window.
"Quiet mood today?"
"I guess. I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"People. Mama?"
"Yes darling?"
"Remind me that I have something to tell you."
"Sure. Why can't you tell me now?"
"This isn't the time for that mama. We're supposed to be having girl time." I said while making finger quotations.
"Alright..." mom stared at me as if I was a math test.
"Are we gonna go shopping or something?"
"If you want. Allie, I feel like I've been losing you lately."
"What you mean?"
"You're always on your phone, you can barely keep a convo with me, heck, I can't even get a good night from you sometimes."
"Eh. Sometimes I'm not in the mood."
"That isn't normal.. Your sister could be in a mood and still tell me good night. I'm waiting for you to tell me whatever you need to tell me."
"Sure mom." I texted Josh while she was speaking.
"Okay let's go now."
"K." She payed for the food and then we went outside. We were crossing the street and Mama was trying to link arms, but I wasn't really feeling it.
"I don't want to." I whispered. I tugged but mom wouldn't let go at all.
"Allison, it's extremely busy. You can let go when we get to the car."
"Where are we even going?"
"Home."
"I thought we were gonna go shopping."
"Your attitude today isn't amazing, so why should I reward you with a shopping trip? Had you had a good attitude and tried to have a conversation with me we would've been going to Forever 21 like you had asked. Go in." I sat in the back of the car and sighed.
"I don't mind going home, I want to be alone anyways. I need Kaia." I leaned my head on the car window. I tell our dog Kaia almost all of my secrets, when I'm sad she comforts me, she makes sure I have a smile on my face. Mama doesn't even know that the reason I'm treating her like this is because I feel terrible about hiding my relationship from her. And I know it won't be good when I tell her.
"What's bothering you?"
"Stop. Just please stop. I can't right now, I feel terrible."
"All-" I stepped out of the car and walked up the stairs to the door. I rang the door bell and dad answered.
"How was it? Why are you crying?" I tried to walk away but dad held me into a comforting hug.
"Take off your shoes." I took them off and he led me upstairs to my room.

(Imagine walls as grey :)
"What is it?"
"I don't wanna tell you." I whined.
"Why?"
"You're gonna get mad at me."
****
"You know everything is confidential unless someone's hurting you, or you want to hurt something else."
"I know."
"What's going on?"
"I've been hiding something from my parents, so to hid the guilt I just would act a certain way. And I got to a point where I got really upset, and here I am today haha." I said in a monotone fashion.
"What are you hiding?"
"My relationship, don't judge."
"I'm not, how did this relationship come about?"
"He asked me and I said yes. And also I feel like he gets me you know. Like he respects my boundaries, when I have a flashback he calms me down.. and I know I'm only 11 and that I'm going to be in 7th grade but that means nothing."
"I see. Are any of your friends dating?"
"Yeah two of them. And the other 4 are figuring things out I guess." I said with a giggle. Being here was really putting me in a better mood.
"Do you think that your friends dating have influenced you at all."
"W-What? No way."
"Mhmm." My therapist wrote something down and smiled.
"Just making sure. Have we covered everything?"
"Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good right now. I'll just tell my parents when the time is right I guess."
"Alright. Good bye Allie, I'll see you soon huh?"
"Yeah, but I'm not sure about next week. Bye though Ms.Stan." I grabbed my book bag and water bottle and went to go meet my mother.
"How was it baby?"
"It was really good actually." I replied while walking out into the cool autumn evening.
"You feel like your normal self?"
"Yeah, she's back! We don't know for how long because I'm insanely emotional! But she is indeed back." My mom and I laughed all the way to the car after that one :).