✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

Not As Imagined

"Surprise!" Audrey said excitedly. Great, just fucking great. Mama brings along her favorite goddaughter to make this trip better. Because, I am a moody, mean, teenager and I just make everything horrible. Great. Great.
"Allie, aren't you happy?! You've been wanting to see Audrey for a while, remember?" Mama said with a smile. I was fuming.
"NO, I'M NOT! THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANTED. It's what you wanted. And I bet that Auntie Ashley is here too. What was the point of this trip if it wasn't going to be just the two of us?!"
"Allison, wait-" I stormed off to the front of the hotel. I wanted to go somewhere. Anywhere but here.
"Allie!" I went to the front of the hotel where all of the taxis were.
"Drive." I said while going into one of the cars.
"Miss, don't you have a parent who is-"
"Drive." I handed the guy a hundred-dollar bill.
***************
The Hotel Room (Mariska's Perspective)
"Allie?!? Allison Maya Hargitay-Hermann!!???"
"She's not here Aunty."
"She couldn't have made it far." I picked up my phone. I can't believe I made things worse, I thought that maybe if I invited Audrey, Allie would be in a less sour mood.
"Pick up the phone...Allison. Jesus Christ." I said while walking in circles.
"M."
"Yes?"
"People are checking the beach and around the hotel."
"Her phone isn't even ringing. I can't. I can't! We're in a foreign country. What kind of a mother am I?!!"
"Mariska, you didn't cause this." Ashley said.
"But I did. I did. I invited you guys here. I caused this. It's my fault. Let's just find her quickly. She's a 13-year-old American girl alone in the Caribbean. God knows what'll happen. If she isn't somewhere around this hotel, I'm calling the police." The phone rang.
"Yes, this is Mariska's friend, Ashley. Yes, we're coming right now."
"What?!!"
"They think they've got something!" We raced down to the lobby. Please tell me they've found my daughter.
"Mrs. Hermann. We found footage." Not my daughter. Footage. What does this mean?? They played the tapes. It showed Allie exiting the Ritz-Carlton and flagging down a taxi.
"What the hell..." She was talking to the guy in there and he was reluctant, but then she waved something and he let her in.
"This guy seriously just took a 13-year-old girl on a joyride?!??"
"This isn't regulated behavior of our drivers. We are so sorry ma'am."
"We need to find this guy."
"We only work with one taxi company here at the Ritz, Enchanted."
"Okay, and how are you going to identify him? I understand the facts, I just need you guys to figure out where the hell he dropped my daughter off."
"Yes, ma'am." This is ridiculous.
******************
George Town, Grand Cayman (Allie's Perspective)
It's funny what 100 USD will do for you. People love money a bit too much. Something I learned when I was adopted into my rich family. Like, I mean having luxurious stuff is pretty cool and nice, but that'll never fix all the problems I have within me, y'know? That's something that I learned on this trip. A stupid vacation won't fix all the trauma I've been through, things won't suddenly get better. That's where Mama got it wrong.
"She's probably gonna send me away again." I muttered. I love my Mom but...

Why is it that Mama's so good at helping other victims and survivors, but when it comes to me, it's different? Why isn't she that good with me?

Mama tries but...sometimes she just ends up hurting me more. I started to cry. Why did I do this? I'm stranded walking across some beach, it's starting to get dark. I'm making things worse right now.....no. This is her fault.

I kept walking. I stayed aware of my surroundings as Dad told me to when I'm alone. A guy is drinking fresh coconut juice. Two ladies dancing to soca music, and a guy staring at me. Great.

He's a creep. I turned to walk the other way. I could still feel his eyes on me for some reason. It was scaring me. I started to walk a bit faster, going back into the busy street.
"What is his problem....." I kept walking. Maybe I should go into a store or something? I looked around. Where could I go?
"Grocery store, jewelry store. I need a store that I look like I could be in." I groaned. I could still feel his presence.
"A boutique? I'll take it, I guess." I quickly went into the store, grabbed some clothes, and went into a changing room. This place is probably gonna close soon, but I'll take the refuge for now. I looked down at my phone. It isn't on. What am I going to do?

If I turn it on, I'll see the mass amount of texts and calls.

If I don't, I don't have to see them.

If I do, maybe I could fix things with Mama before it gets too late.

Before she sends me away again.

If I don't, then I won't have to know if she's even going to send me away.

If I do, Mama will find me.

I found myself going over these scenarios over and over.
*******************
The Car (9:30 PM) (Mariska's Perspective)

*At the tone, please record your mess-*

I threw my phone.

"M-"
"Don't M me! This is the third time she's run away like this and it doesn't get better time after time!" I cried.
"I didn't mean to upset you." I wiped my tears.
"We will find her." Audrey said.
"We can't find her if we can't friggin' locate the guy or the taxi that helped her get away. Just stop with the false hope...we know nothing. There's a possibility that my daughter won't be found. Let's be realistic." Everything was still in the car. No one moved, no one talked.
"You have a point...but we have to have hope, M. Don't you want Allie to be found?" Ashley asked.
"Of course I do. Don't you dare-" I can't believe she tried to insinuate that I don't care about my daughter.

I care about her more than anyone could imagine, more than words can describe.

4 years ago......
"What's wrong Allie?" Allie was standing at my doorway.
"Is it true?"
"Is what true?" I walked over to her.
"That you love me even after I told you what my brother did." She sniffled.
"Allie, yes. I still love you just as much. Sweetheart, that wasn't your fault."
"But I'm not normal, Mama. It makes me not perfect."
"Nobody's perfect, and what happened doesn't make you any less of a person. You know that?" She didn't reply.
"You are loved. Daddy Peter and I will always love you."
"Even when I cry?"
"Yes."
"Even when I'm being bad."
"Yes, I care about you and love you more than anything."
"More than my brothers and sister?" We then giggled.
"You sneaky girl! No, I don't! I love you all the same!"

I hope that we can find her. And fast. I can't lose my baby forever. I looked down at my phone. Wait.

I picked it up. I called Peter. Despite everything we've been through, and our time apart, I still love him. He deserves to know what's going on with his daughter, and maybe, just maybe, he could get a hold of her.
****************
Toronto, Canada (Westbury Hotel) (Peter's Perspective)
"Actually, I could show you, if you'd like." I told Olivia. She's my co-star and love interest in our new movie. I invited her over for dinner. We've been getting along quite well. I have friends here in Canada, but it's always nice to meet new people. Especially considering I'm more introverted, the fact that we've even really become friends is amazing in itself.
"I'd love to see it." I smiled.
"I've been collecting for a while. I have a different stone to mark every important moment in my life." She carefully inspected the stones while sipping her wine.
"This one: from when I graduated Yale. This one's from our wedding day." I continued to inspect the stones while explaining their significance.
"This one's when we bought our first place together. This one's from when we adopted our daughter Allie." I looked up for the first time in a while. Olivia started taking off her sweater.
"Is it hot in here? I can turn the temperature down a bit-" Before I could even reach the thermostat I felt the brush of warm, soft lips colliding into mine.

I could hear my phone ringing. I didn't know who it was but it was persistent. Everything felt frozen in time.

What's happening right now?

What is she doing?!

To be continued~