✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

"Yes it does matter."
"It happened years ago! And it was my fault anyways, I should've stopped him when he-" I didn't even feel like continuing.
"When he what?"
"Allie Maya Hargitay Hermann, speak up." My mom said.
"When he touched me where no one else is allowed to." I cried harder then I did before and mom gave me a big hug. She caressed my back and and said something to dad that I didn't catch.
"Who did it?"
"My older brother. He started it when I was 5. He said that I can't tell anyone and that it was gonna to be fun. But I didn't like it."
"Did you tell you parents at all?"
"No. But they noticed some marks, I said it was from falling while playing."
"He deserves to be punished for what he did."
"He never will! He died in the car crash mommy!" I went back up to my room and I saw August peeking out of his room. He's 12 and usually he's in his room playing games.
"Are you okay Allie?"
"Yeah."
"If you ever wanna talk just know I'm next door." I smiled and went back into my room. I know that I shouldn't be running away from my new parents like this but I have to. I have to get rid of this journal as soon as possible! I went and took my journal out of my bag so I could find a secure hiding place for it, I managed to find a place under my bed for it and I put it there. After I did that my parents came back into the room.
"Allie, sweet girl me and dad came up with an idea."
"What?"
"How about we put you in therapy? We want to see you heal from this." My dad said seriously.
"No!"
"Yes you have to. Or your never going to get better. It's hurting you and we could see that."
"I'm not gonna go! You can't make me go! I AM NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT IT! ITS STUPID!"
"Hey, no reason to yell." Then in that moment we heard something fall on the floor.
"What's this bug?"
"That's my journal dad." I sighed and picked it up. I held it tightly because it's supposed to be a secret journal. My mom and dad were looking at me play with my journal and then said,
"We're coming back. Write in the journal."
**Mariska POV**
"We need to know that's in the journal Mariska! It probably contains more details about the attack."
"You're right Peter, but I'm not sure if Allie trusts us enough to let us peek in it. And not only that we can't even really do anything since the brother is dead."
"Check the files, maybe she said that so we would drop it. She really isn't comfortable with us yet."
"Let's work on getting to know her better." I added. Peter nodded in agreement as we walked back into her room. Allie was drawing in her coloring book with tears streaming down her face.
"Mom and Dad?"
"Yes?" We both said,
"I'm sorry for yelling and being mean. You were only trying to help me."
"It's okay bug, you were having a hard time. Mom and I were talking and we thought that maybe we should spend more time together. So that we can understand you more."
She nodded with a big smile. "Can I get a french book?" Interesting request, I thought. Then I remember her parents were of french ancestry.
"Of course! You can read french?"
"I can read it a little. If someone speaks it I'll understand some of it." A small smile crept up her face. It made me happy to see the first little smile since yesterday.
"So how about you and I go to pick up a french book tomorrow. Then we can do anything else you want after." Allie looked at me for approval and I nodded, encouraging her to say yes.
**Allie's POV**
"That sounds fun. I would like that very much." Dad looked at me with a big smile and opened up his arms for a hug,
"Is it okay if we hug Allie?" I nodded and gave him a hug. He smelled like cologne and something else. Mom was smiling and she looked like she wanted to cry. She took a picture of us hugging and then said,
"I'll leave you guys for a moment." She got up and closed the door. I think she went to go be with the other kids as I heard Amaya screaming.
"Allie you know that no one here would ever hurt you, right?" I nodded.
"You know that I will never ever hurt you too right?"
"Yes."
"If there's anything at all that makes you uncomfortable you would tell me right?"
"Yes dad. I would tell you and mommy. Because you guys are nice to me."
He smiled and then asked,"Do you trust me?"
"Well I don't know you a lot. But you seem trusting. That's why I let you hug me, I usually don't let boys hug me a lot because it makes me feel icky."
"I see. If there's ever a time you don't want to be hugged or touched always tell us. We don't want to see your hurt any further.."
"Sure."
"Allie I really want you to not be afraid of me or any boys in this household. We will not hurt you I promise." Then I just hugged him. Just like that.
"Thank you for trusting me."
***