✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

A Halloween Date?

"Welll." Now I have to lie to my dad this is sooo amazing.
"Well what?" He finally closed his laptop and gave me eye contact.
"Nevermind." I ran out of the room and into Amaya's room.
"You're so dumb."
"I know."
"Why would you even tell him you bafoon. Ya had it coming for ya."
"True. I'm going to help mommy with lunch, I'll be back."
"Yeah do that quickly, he's coming after you sooner or later, wait did I mention sooner?" I rolled my eyes playfully and went down stairs to the kitchen.
"Oh you're here to help?"
"Yeah, you're just making sandwiches today?"
"Yes, something simple. Can you get me the turkey from the fridge please?" I nodded and handed it her.
"Allie, can I talk to you for minute? After we make these sandwiches of course."
"Sure. Why?"
"You'll see."
"How much mayo?"
"Not too much, wait, relax your wrist when you do that honeybunch." She guided my hand to show how I should hold it.
"See easy." I nodded and added the rest of the stuff to the sandwiches.
"Guys come and eat!" Mom held my hand and led me upstairs to my bedroom.
"What's up mommy?"
"Do you have something that you need to tell me?"
"What do you mean?"
"When I was doing the laundry earlier, I found some bloody clothing."
"Ohh, it's nothing."
"Allie, you don't have to be embarrassed it's natural-"
"I'm okay mom really. It's not what you think it is. It's actually fruit punch!"
"It is?"
"Yeah! Sorry Mama, I thought that you'd realize somehow."
"It's okay, thank goodness. I thought you were hiding something else from me!" Mama let out a sigh of relief and gave me a hug.
"Do you have the pouch in your bag?"
"Yes."
"Just remember that you don't need to hide that from me. If you ever want to talk to me about it you can, okay?"
"Sure, Mama Joy said that it hurts a lot."
"Oh she started?"
"Mhmm. In music class the other day, I gave her some stuff from the pouch. She was kinda embarrassed because it stained her pants but I gave her the tide stick and stuff."
"That's really nice of you. You're a great friend."
"I guess. But isn't that what girls are supposed to do? Why do girls bully each other instead of bringing each other up?"
"Sometimes people bully to get popular or to make themselves feel better because they don't love themselves. This is why I teach you girls to love yourselves, so that you don't ever have to feel like you need to hurt someone or even modify your body to feel good about yourself."
"I get it now. Remember how you'd make us say we're beautiful everyday before going to school."
"Yes, and remember how upset I'd get when you guys didn't want to say it."
"We were pretty rude sometimes." I laughed and Mama wrapped her arms around me.
"Ya think?"
"Hahah." Then my stomach started making noises.
"Let's go eat, your stomachs' talking and it's saying some cruel words." We held hands as we went downstairs to eat some food. As I ate my sandwich Mama was busy on her phone doing business I guess.
"Mama can I go outside to buy something?"
"Buy what?"
"Something for my hair."
"What for your hair?"
"Hair gel."
"What do you want gel all of a sudden?"
"Cause I wanna try something." My mom looked at me and didn't say anything and signaled me to come over.
"I don't really want you using gel a lot bug. It'll ruin you hair after a while." She said while playing with my hair.
"But I want to try something!"
"What?"
"A sleek pony."
"Let me think on it."
"You don't let me do anything! I can't straighten my hair, I can't put gel in it what the hell do you want from me?" I walked away angrily to my bedroom.
"Allison, come back down here this instant young lady." I locked my door and sat on my bed.
"Shouldn't have said that." I whispered.
"Allison, open the door." I stayed mute as mom counted down. I went to go hide in my closet and locked the door. I tend to hide in my closet a lot due to the fact that there's an outlet in there and space for me to stretch.
"Okay, Allison get out of the closet." I didn't answer. I heard mom sit down on the floor next next to me and rip off a piece of paper. She slid it under the door. The paper said,"Why did you speak to me that way? I'm only trying to look out for you." I wrote down,"You won't let me do anything." And slid it back under the door. I got the paper back shortly,"What do you mean? I let you date." I rolled my eyes and wrote,"That's a bit different! Ugh I wanna do stuff to my body. Being in a semi-affectionate relationship with someone doesn't not apply!" I sent it back over to her and waited on her reply.
"Allie, come out from the closet and have an actual conversation with me. It's apparent that you have a lot to get off of you chest." Who said I wanted to talk?
"Allie? At least answer me."
"Alright I'm coming in." She opened the door and saw me there facing away from her.
"Okay, let's talk. Track me." I turned around and watched her.
"What you did was unacceptable. So you miss can stay in your room for the rest of the evening, but I want you to explain where all of that random anger came from."
"Because I cant even do anything with my hair."
"Because I want your hair to be healthy."
"Trust me my hair will be fine." I crossed my arms and moved away.
"What else?" I left the room and went into the laundry room. One of the most private places in our manhattan brownstone. I let out a sigh and sniffed some fabric softeners. It really soothed me and made me smile