✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

Trouble In Paradise

Poconos Trip (Day 2)
It's 6 AM and I just woke up. I'm so tired!!! But, that's my fault. You'll see what I mean.
"Wait, pass the mic!" Chelsea laughed and passed me the hairbrush.
"City of starssssss, are you shining just for meeeeeee?!!!!" Leila took it from me and sang.
"Who knowsssssss?! I felt it from the first embrace, I shared with you!"
Last night was so much fun. I'd do it over again. I brushed my teeth and then hopped into the shower. I was the second to wake up, after Chelsea of course.
"Cute fit."
"Thanks. What time do we gotta be downstairs?"
"8 for breakfast, and then we're doing some activities outside." It was a great thing I packed my sneakers.
"Joy, Leila, Claire! Get the hell up!"
"Allison! What the hell!"
"We have to head downstairs for 8 your freaking losers, it's minutes to 7. But continue sleeping." Chelsea laughed and we both rolled our eyes.
"And you guys take forever to get ready. So I'd get moving if I were you guys."
*************
On Set (Mariska's Perspective)
"Mom, why are there cameras?!" Amaya asked quietly. I ushered her inside of my dressing room and sat her down.
"Why Mama?"
"Remember how Daddy got a new job?"
"Yeah, I remember that."
"Well, we talked about how we're a bit known right?" She nodded as I was getting my hair done for another scene.
"Daddy's show is doing really well so people are a bit more interested."
"They need to calm down, people deserve privacy." I laughed quietly.
"Amen sister."
"Why did you want to be a celebrity?"
"Well, not so much that. I just loved acting and that's what I wanted to do. I feel bad."
"Why Mama?"
"I feel like Daddy's and I popularity if that's what you'd call it is really affecting you guys. We've already had people approach Allison and August at their school."
"It doesn't really affect me that much Mama. It's just the when's he cameras are around sometimes, it's really annoying."
"I hear you, baby. Thanks for being so mature about it. I love you."
"Love you too."
"Go get started on your homework babe. I'm going to call Allie." Allison picked up in the first ring.
"Hi, Mama."
"Hey sweetheart, how's your trip going?"
"Super well, Josh and I are getting ready to go on the Ferris wheel."
"Where are you guys?"
"This amusement park. We went zip-lining  today and we're closing it off with rides."
"Tell Joshua I said hello! Tell everyone I said hi. I just wanted to check-in and make sure you're okay. No dreams right?"
"None at all. I gotta go Mom. Bye."
"Bye sweetheart. Love you!" My daughter hung up and I sighed. She's having so much fun and I'm happy for her, but I miss our conversations. My daughter is such a sweet and smart child. So very smart.
"Mariska, we're ready for you."
*************
The Ferris Wheel (Allison's Perspective)
"The view is so pretty!" I took a picture with my Polaroid and then looked at Josh. He had his hand on my thigh and it was making me feel weird, not in an uncomfortable type of way, but it was weird, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to word it.
"Josh! That's not appropriate!" I said with a smile. He continued to slightly grip my bare thigh and smiled.
"Who's here to see anything ?" He asked. He was right. We were thousands of feet above, we could do just about anything up here. Well not everything, we can't do all of that kind of movement.
"Well, you're not wrong." I held his hand and looked at all of the rides around us.
"Thanks for doing this with me."
"Any time." We were starting to go back down and he was getting really handsy, not that it made it uncomfortable. I liked it actually.
"Josh, stop! Let's look at all of the rides." I was trying my hardest to stick to our promise that we wouldn't do much until we hit 8th but it gets really hard.
"You're cute when you get embarrassed like that."
"When am I not cute?!"
"I'm not sure."
"Josh?"
"Hm?"
"Do you love me?"
"Allie, of course, I do."
"How much?"
"A lot." I nodded as we made our gradual descent.
"Can you tell me what the point of this is?"
"I just need to make sure. I know I'm a bit difficult."
"Difficult how?" I stared into his eyes and he knew what I meant.
"Allie you're not difficult. You've been traumatized."
"Thanks for reminding me."
"You don't have to worry about that. Ever. I love you for you. No one's perfect. We both know that. Stop worrying about that."
"It's hard not to. I don't you want to think I'm weird."
"Allison, I don't think you're weird. You're an awesome person. You shouldn't feel this way about yourself."
"I can't help myself sometimes. That's why I hate the quiet. My mind wanders way too far and before I've realized it, I've thought way too hard for way too long into a very dark place. It makes me feel sick."
"Then tell me, I know I can't help, but just let it off your chest." We walked to go meet up with our friends and I sighed.
"Allison, please don't cry. Please."
***************
The Lounge (Joshua's Perspective)
"I'm so tired. We had way too much fun today." Kimberly said.
"Right, what was the best ride in your opinion?"
"The twister! It wasn't scary, calm just the way I liked it."
"Allison cried on that ride we went on. The green one. I've never seen her cry on a ride." Allie was still upset but I don't think anyone else knew.
"Allie, which was your favorite?"
"I don't have one."
"Aww come on, you know you had a favorite ride. Was it when you did the Ferris wheel with Joshy?"
"I just don't have a favorite. Nothing was my favorite." She left quickly and I sighed.
"Is she okay?"
"She's a bit down. I've been trying to lighten up the mood but she's upset."
"What is she upset about?"
"Something private. Give me a second guys. I'll find her. Don't worry, she isn't mad at any of you guys." I left the lounge and texted Allie
Me: Allie where did you go?
         Read 8:15 PM
"Damn it," I whispered. I hate it when she does that. I care about Allie so much, and I hate it when she diminishes herself like that, she's worth so much more than she thinks, I wish she would just believe what we've been telling her.
Me: Can you at least tell me where you went? I want to find you. We need to talk.
Allie: I need to be alone. I get that you want to help me, but no. Leave me alone.
"Jesus Christ, why the hell are you being so difficult?" I went back to the lounge and told my friends that no matter how hard I tried Allison wasn't cracking.
************
My Living Room (Peter's Perspective)
"Dad?"
"Hey Allie, hey what's wrong?" I asked as I realized her time of voice wasn't a happy one.
"Allison, what's wrong?"
"I feel terrible, I think my friends are mad at me."
"Why would you say that?"
"Because we were talking and I stomped off and stuff I think they're mad." My daughter said in between tears.
"Okay, okay, take a deep breath, yes, in and out. Good job, sweetheart."
"Explain clearly."
"This whole day has been giving me anxiety, I keep worrying about things that happened when I was 5 and I don't know. I think everyone thinks I'm weird."
"Your friends definitely do not think you're crazy. They love you, they only want to help you. Let them help, let us help. I want you do go back and apologize to them."
"Okay."