✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

Oh, I'm Just A Kid

a/n: be on the lookout for a special message in this chapter!

Central Park (The Kennedy Reservoir) (Monday, March 27th) (Allie's Perspective)
My friends and I decided that we'd open these letters together. So that we'd all know which schools we got into. As I started biking towards our favorite spot, I could feel a pit growing in my stomach. We're going to high school, and we might not be going together. My heart started beating, really fast. To add on, Josh. Things have been rough. I haven't told anyone, and I'm not sure how he's gonna act today, so I decided to meet up with him first.
"Hey."
"Hey." I hopped off my bike and sat on the grass.
"No one knows...about us, so let's just act like everything's fine-"
"Allie, no."
"What do you mean no?"
"I can't just sit here in front of our friends and act like everything is fine when it's not and you know that. You can do that, but I can't. That's all you do anyway." I started to tear up.
"I can't act like everything's fine anymore. I can't. It's just too much, you're-"
"Just too much?" I asked.
"I didn't say that."
"But you think it probably."
"Maybe because you're a liar."
"A liar how?"
"At my house a week ago. You stood there and lied to my face."
"Because I didn't know how you'd react if I told you the truth." I said with tears running down my face.
"Allison, I've been here through the trial with your brother, you having famous parents with weirdo stalker fans, your parents fighting, what happened to you, everything. What would make you think that I wouldn't be there for you the same way you're there for me?"
"Because I'm a freak who's on meds. That's why." It was silent.
"What?"
"I'm on meds, Josh. That's why I've been so different." He slumped against the tree.
"That's why you're so...calm?" I nodded.
"Why didn't you tell me anything?"
"I thought all of you guys would treat me weirdly if you knew that because I mean, last time I checked, a 13-year-old girl being on two psychiatric medications is weird."
"It isn't weird."
"Feels like it to me."
"You should've told me, Allie. You should've."
"I was scared."
"You shouldn't be afraid of me, I'm you're boyfriend."
"Hey, guys!" Joy pulled up on her bike.
"Oh....am I ruining couple time?"
^^^^^^^^^^
Everyone's here now. It's quiet. So quiet that we can hear the sounds of little kids playing, the birds chirping, the cars zooming by. Everyone and no one wants to speak, knowing that these next few moments could either end with laughter or tears.
"So um, who's first?" Claire asked.
"Uhh-" Laila said. We all looked around.
"I'll go first." Joy said. Gabe rubbed her shoulder. She took a deep breath. There were four envelopes for her to open.
"Okay um, this one is from Dwight..." She opened it slowly. Her lips started to turn downwards.
"I got rejected." Chelsea rubbed her back.
"Hey, don't be down. You haven't opened the rest."
"It can only go up from here," I reassured her. She opened the next letter, it was from Spence. Her first choice. She got in. As a matter of a fact, she got into all of the other ones she applied to. After that, we decided to just rip the bandaid and open the rest.
"YES, I GOT INTO CHAPIN LET'S GO!!" Brian yelled.
"Me too!!" Josh said. They both jumped up and hugged each other. I still had envelopes in my hand.
"Oh my god, HORACE MANN!" Chelsea spun in a circle.
"I got into Smith. That's like ultimate GOSSIP GIRL VIBES." Laila said.
"Al, open them. I'm sure it's all good, you're like the perfect student." Joy said while scooting over.
"It's not that." Everyone started to quiet down.
"W-When I open this. That'll be it. Our friendship group is over." My eyes started to water.
"That's not true, Allie." Gabe said.
"Yes, it is." I wiped my tears.
"I open these letters, and our fates are sealed. We're all gonna be in different places. It's never going to be the same again." I cried.
"I just want to hold onto this for a little longer, is that so bad?" I asked. Everyone looked around.
"Take as long as you need." We sat for minutes, just staring at the envelopes.
"I can't do this anymore!" I opened them all. I got into the Riverdale School, Dalton, Dwight, Avenue's, and Lyceé de Francais. I got into everywhere I applied, yet there was this sinking feeling in my stomach. This isn't what I thought it would be.
"Allie?"
****************
Our Kitchen (Tuesday, 1:03 AM) (Mariska's Perspective)
"Another day's done." I said to myself. I just got home from my shoot in Chelsea and I was beyond tired, but also a little hungry so I decided to reach for a quick bite.
"Allie? What are you doing down here so late, bug?" Allie was eating a bowl of cereal at the island. She sighed before answering me.
"I just..got hungry."
"The late night munchies. Can I join?" She nodded.
"Kat told me you went out with your friends today. How was that?" I wanted to savor this moment with Allie, I work so much throughout the week that I don't get moments like these with my kids often.
"It was...okay." Her tiny smile faltered as she reached for another spoonful of Fruit Loops.
"Allie, what's wrong?"
"Everything, it seems like. We opened our high school letters today, and everyone get into places they really want to, and I'm happy for them, but-"
"Things are going to change." I finished. She handed me the letters.
"Everyone's probably going to go somewhere else. What if they don't want to be friends anymore? What if Josh doesn't wanna go to the same school as me? What if we never see each other again?"
"Oh, Allison.." She started to cry.
"First off, I want to tell you that I am so proud of you for getting into these schools, and second change is okay. Change is good, going to a new school means you get new experiences, new friends, it'll help you navigate the world better. Trust me."
"But what if they forget about me?"
"Ladybug, true friends will always stay in touch, no matter what. If they decide to not talk to you anymore because they're in a new school, were they really your friend?" She shook your head.
"It's okay, baby. You can still be friends in different places, as long as there's effort on both sides. I'm still friends with Aunt Katie, and we've been friends since we were little girls. Aunt Ashley too. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. Okay? I know this is scary, but trust me, you'll be okay and I'll be here every step of the way."
"Okay, Mama. But, what school do I choose?" She asked.
"That's up to you, baby girl. I can't tell you what's best. In your heart, you know what's best for you." I pointed to her chest.
"You know what you want. You've just gotta find it."
***************
Kung Fu Tea (West 84th Street) (Thursday) (Andrew's Perspective)
"Why are we getting boba?" Amaya asked.
"Because. Don't we both love boba?" I asked.
"Okay....well are you paying? I sorta used my allowance this week to buy eyeliner." I rolled my eyes.
"Fineee. What do you want?" She perked up. Since this was on me, she decided it'd be a good time to order the Oreo WOW supreme boba. I guess this is the price I have to pay for what I'm about to say next.
"So, why are we here? You still haven't answered."
"I need your help."
"My help? That's rare. Aren't you the genius between the both of us?"
"I need your help with Charlotte." I said as the worker gave us our boba. She looked up.
"Ohhhh, that's why you wanted to get out of the house. If mom found out about this she would have you sit down for a whole Q & A."
"Yeah, and I don't want that. It's embarrassing."
"I get it, I love Mom but sometimes she's just too cringy and embarrassing."
"Felt. What's up with you and Char?" Amaya asked.
"That's the problem; I don't know. She likes me, but I don't know if I like her. I think I do, but then I think I don't. Plus, I don't wanna ruin the friendship we have."
"Yeah, you're in a bit of a sticky situation there."
"You get it." I said.
"Yep. I know just what to do."
"What?"
"I'm going to ask your five questions that'll help us figure out if you like her as a friend, or something more. This is like 99.9998 percent proven to be correct."
"What happened to the other 0.0002 percent?"
"Anyways, when you're hanging out with her, how do you feel? Do you feel butterflies?"
"Sometimes."
"Hmm, okay. Do you feel like you need to please her? Like try to make her laugh?"
"Well, I don't feel like I need to, but I like making her laugh."
"Hmmmm. How do you feel when she suddenly doesn't come to school?"
"Worried." Amaya sipped her tea.
"You have a little crush on her."
"You only asked me three questions."
"Yeah, that was enough for me to know. I just know these things, okay?"
"Sure." I rolled my eyes. Amaya's eyes suddenly widened.
"What? What's wrong-"
"She just came in the store. Stay calm."
"Huh?"
"Hey Andy! Hi Amaya! What's up?"
"U-uh we're just chilling. Drinking boba." Amaya pretended to look at her phone.
"Summer's calling! Brb!" Why is she leaving me alone? Charlotte grabbed her drink from the counter and sat down.
"So?"
"So?"
"How was your spring break Andy?"
"Pretty cool. Aruba's fun even if it is just swimming most of the time. What about you?"
"We went to Germany to visit my grandparents. It was cool."
"You're German?"
"Yep."
"My dad's German." I told her.
"Cool! Hey, I gotta go now but do you wanna come to my house to hang out sometime? We could watch that show you were telling me about!"
"Um yeah! That w-would be cool."
"See ya!" She skipped out with her boba in hand.
******************
The Cozy Room (The Happy House, 31 Cottage Ave.) (Saturday, April 1st) (Allie's Perspective)
This is it. Todays the day. Today, I have to make a decision that affects the next four years of my life. For some reason, I thought it'd be so easy, but more and more I'm finding that it isn't.
"Hey, Allie." Dad sat next to me.
"Hi."
"You okay?" I nodded.
"I really don't wanna put pressure on you bud, but you've got to make a decision soon."
"I know." I whispered.
"I can tell you want some space. I'll be outside, okay?"

꧁༺💌~𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭! 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫!~💌 ༻꧂

꧁༺💌𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙚!~💌 ༻꧂

I don't know what to do. I want to go to the same place as everyone else, but everyone wants to go somewhere different. Mama says I shouldn't worry about what other people are doing, and that I need to go to the school that's best for me. But I don't even know what's best for me. Plus, if me and Josh don't go to the same school...what does that mean for us?

I started to cry silently.

This should be a happy decision, but it was making me sad.

I don't know what to do.

I paced around the room in a circle.

If I stay in Trinity, it'll be the same old, same odd. I don't want that for myself. I want to experience something now.

That crosses of Trinity.

If I go to a school near home, irs basically the same thing again.

Bye, Bue Dwight.

The French school gives me a chance to improve my  French, but no one's going there, plus Mom and Dad could always get me a tutor.

I feel stuck. All of these schools are just the same preppy bullshit in Manhattan. It wouldn't be anything different.

"I-I can't do this." I muttered. I'm probably the only person who hasn't made a choice today, which is pathetic.

"I don't know what to do." I sniffled.

Joy: hey, have you made a decision yet? I'm going to Spence. My mom went there, and I guess she knows best. You could totally join meee!

But I don't want Spence. But at the same time, Joy is my best friend.

Me: that's awesome! I'm so happy for you babes! I haven't made a choice yet.

But...if Joy could be so confident in making choice, even if she knows I might not be there, why can't I?

Me: Josh, have you made a choice?
Joshyy 🫶: no, have you?
Me: nope. I dunno what to do.
Joshyy🫶: do whatever makes you happy

Whatever makes me happy. He doesn't seem to care where, I go.

Me: you don't wanna go to school with me?
Joshyy🫶: ofc I want to, but I don't want to hold you back from your dreams. It's up to you, Al.

I eyed the acceptance letter from Riverdale. It's in the Bronx, basically near a bunch of woods and would be different from going to school in the city. I could take the train or bus by myself and I could have some independence away from my family. It would be nice.

Everyone else is trying something new, why shouldn't I do the same? I paced again.

Josh won't be mad. Josh said to do what makes me happy.

My friends won't hate me for this. My boyfriend won't hate me for this.

I have to make a decision.

Time is almost up.

I walked downstairs to our family room. I paused a second before fully going in. Will I regret this? I took a deep breath.

"Mama? Daddy? I need to tell you guys something..."

To be continued~