✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

Caring

"I don't really care. I just want to go do my homework dad."
"You're still upset with us?"
"Yes." I strummed my ukulele slowly.
"We're moving for you guys. You know that right?"
"I guess."
"You guys are getting bigger. You guys need more space."
"But I like it here."
"And I promise you, you're gonna love our new house even more."
"Okay."
*****
Tuesday, November 13th
It's been super cold lately, and to be honest I hate it and I love it. I hate it because I freeze sometimes but then I also love it because I can wear all those cute clothes I bought the other day. For my outfit today I decided on a A-line leather skirt with the H&M Divided sweater I bought the other day. I put an undershirt under it of course! Who said I was gonna freeze to death because of the cropped sweater?! Then I slid on some black tights and boots.
"I wanna wear lipstick." I grabbed some red lipstick and applied it quickly. I then took the elevator downstairs and Daddy was there. Ugh, I thought he was at work!
"Hey Allie."
"Hi." Dad turned around and paused.
"Are you wearing lipstick?"
"Yes."
"Go back upstairs and take it off."
"But dad!"
"No buts, go upstairs and take it off. I'm not letting my 11 year old daughter go to school with makeup on." I groaned and walked up the flight of stairs. Tears ran down my face as I got rid of the lipstick.
"He's so annoying!" I went back downstairs and grabbed my book bag.
"Where are you going?"
"To my room Andy. Where else could I possibly go little dude?"
"Allison you need to eat something."
"No, I can buy breakfast. I'm leaving." I went back upstairs to my room very unhappy.
*****
Mariska's POV
"Where's Allison?"
"She just stomped off to her bed room."
"Why?"
"Because dad told her to take off the lipstick Mama."
"I guess it's that time. Alright Andrew put you're jacket on. Where's Amaya and August?"
"I think Amaya's taking a shower and August left a while ago."
"Thanks Andy." I gave him a kiss and went upstairs to my daughters room.
"Allie."
"Yes?"
"You know that you can't wear makeup to school. And where did you get it from?" I handed her a jacket and sat down.
"Why does that matter?"
"Because I wouldn't give you lipstick, the most I would give you is lip gloss. Let's make this easier, let me see the lipstick."
"No."
"What has gotten into you for real?!"
*****
Therapy
"I DONT WANT TO BE HERE!"
"Why can't everyone just go away and leave me alone?"
"Allie? Have you been feeling alright lately?"
"No I haven't obviously!" I walked back and forth.
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Fine."
"Alright. Tell me what's been bugging you."
"Literally everything. The move, my parents punishing me, not letting me wear lipstick and everything in between.."
"And what's that?"
"That's Private Okay?! I'm not talking about it with you or anyone else for that matter."
"How come?"
"It's a personal choice that I've made. Don't worry no ones hurting me, and I'm not planning on hurting anyone. Just private info."
"I can respect that. Can I ask about the move?"
"Sure, why not."
"What exactly is angering you about this move?"
"The fact that we're moving."
"There's has to be more to it than just that Allie. There has to be an underlying reason."
"There's too many memories in that house. That's the house where I got in the most trouble, did the most crazy stuff, had my important growing up experiences. How do you expect me to feel? Just getting up and moving, is like dismissing all of those great memories."
"I don't think you guys moving is dismissing those memories. I think it's making room for even more beautiful memories. Have you ever thought about it in that way?"
"Well no, I just thought of it dismissing it all. And moving away from our deli. I loved that deli. They would the best beef sausage egg and cheeses you could ever imagine." I was drooling just thinking about them. Sometimes the deli would even give me a discount because I'm a loyal customer. Or maybe it's because of who my parents are. Who knows, but anyways I would always sneak there in the morning even though mom doesn't want me having all those greasy foods.
"Those sandwiches were a comfort food for you?"
"Basically, if I woke up feeling yuck I'd buy one. It made everything go away. All I would think about was that sandwich. And the turkey sandwiches too they're amazing."
"So basically you've been using food as an escape."
"Well, Yeah. Is that a federal crime or something?"
"No, not at all. But it can get to a point where it becomes unhealthy. And I don't want it to get to that point."
"I don't eat it as much. It's like every other morning I guess."
"That's good. So you're limiting yourself."
"Pretty much."
****
My Parents Room
After my session I felt super calm. I was in bed with my mom and she was just scrolling down her Instagram.
"You're in a much better mood now?"
"Yep."
"Do you want to talk to me about anything?"
"No Mama."
"Can you at least tell me where the lipstick is from?"
"Someone gave it..to me."
"Who did? Why did you do that awkward pause just now?"
"Never mind."
"Allie what are you hiding from me?"
"A friend bought it.....Mama."
"Joy?"
"No."
"Leila?"
"No."
"Who was it?"
"Claire."
"So you let someone influence you to wear makeup?"
"No, I wanted to try it."
"But you were never this desperate. Is everything alright?! Did you get into a fight with your other friends or something?!"
"No Mama. She's just a new friend of ours. We're all fine."
"Can you promise me to hold off on the make up until you're a little older."
"I can't promise. But I can try."