✨It Doesn't Even Matter✨

Family Dinner

We just had some appetizers while waiting for Mama to be done with work. They were pretty yummy, would've been more enjoyable if August didn't eat all of the mozzarella sticks.
"Aww come on I only had one." I whined, pushing the plate back to the middle of the table.
"Finders keepers, losers weepers. Sorry sis." He said with a grin.
"You're so annoying."
"Guys cut it out." My dad warned. I turned to look out the window waiting for Mama. The rest of my family were chatting and talking about random stuff. Apparently my mom had come at some point, but I didn't even notice.
"Allie, what are you gonna eat?"
"Chicken parm." I went back to looking out the window.
"And for the little kids we'll have two orders of the chicken fingers with pasta thank you." My dad said.
"So how's everyone?" My mom kissed dad, August, Amaya, Andrew, and then me, but I turned away.
"What's the matter?"
"I would like to go home, I'm tired." I sipped my lemonade and then looked at my mom.
"I know that's not the only thing. Amaya and Allie switch with your brothers and father, I can see the tension." I got up and went to the window seat on Mamas side.
"Is that better?"
"Way better." Amaya said.
"Mama, my friend's having a party can I go pretty please? I've been cleaning my room, making my bed, and washing dishes."
"When's this party? And who's the friend?"
"Parker. It's next week Sunday."
"Alright, let me talk to his mom first though."
"Thank you!" Amaya hugged Mama and did her little dance.
"August and Andy, how's basketball?"
"It's great! Mama I helped my team today. We didn't win, which kinda sucked but I'm glad we were close."
"That's a great attitude to have Andy, I'm proud. How about you August?"
"It's okay, coach said I'm starting to act my normal self again." He picked at his last mozzarella stick.
"Great improvement. Allie, you okay?"
"No." I checked my phone and saw that Josh texted me.
Joshy✨: Hey can we talk? It's nothing major, I just wanna make sure you didn't get in trouble
Joshy: -sent 1 photo-
"That's Josh?"
"Yes Mama." I turned it off and ate some garlic bread.
"When we get home, tell me what's the matter. I haven't seen you this upset and quiet in over a year. Dad and I don't want you going back to how it was in the beginning." She whispered in my ear.
"K." I thought for a second, why have an attitude and be so grumpy? I mean this was a family dinner. The least I could do was try to lighten the mood.
"Mama." I poked my mom over and over.
"Well that was a quick turnaround!"
****
It was now 8pm and I ran to my room so I could change quickly and then talk to my mom. She was very serious about it and I could tell. I ran down to the living room to where my mom was sitting down in her sweats and a tee. She touched the chair and told me to come.
"Okay, do you mind telling me what's going on?" She pulled down her glasses a little.
"At the party?"
"Mhmm. You've been acting strange ever since. Dad told me you were talking to Josh about something that you guys did."
"Ohh yeah. During laser tag I was teamed up with him, and he was telling me how he liked me." My mom fully took off her glasses and started to smile.
"Isn't that a good thing? I thought you liked him too?"
"That's not everything. We..uhh... kissed."
"Allison Hermann. You're joking!"
"No, we kissed."
"Is that why you're acting like this? Did he force you?"
"No, it was his idea. Well- he asked and I did it. No it didn't feel gross, I liked and enjoyed it. Please don't get mad!" I put my head in between my legs.
"Awww, I'm not mad honey. These feelings are natural, and sometimes they cause you to do things. And you'll like it, and it'll feel good to you. I know your past is making it hard for you to come to terms with it, but it's okay to feel what you felt. Come-" Mama hugged me and rubbed my back.
"Thanks- you know I thought you'd be mad and disappointed in me. I thought you'd tell me that i shouldn't go around doing that kind of stuff because of what my brother did."
"Never, you're 12 and you're nearly a young lady. Your first kiss was bound to happen soon. Remember to have respect for yourself and your body though. Understand? No going around and doing stuff with every single guy you like. And yes I know you're not like that, but I still need to warn you."
"Alright Mama. I won't I promise." Mama went upstairs for a few minutes and I turned on the tv. After a while she came back with a ring.
"Here, this a ring that I've been keeping for you. It's called a promise ring, and I want you to promise to respect yourself and your body as you're becoming a young woman. Okay my ladybug?"
"Okay." I slid the ring on my left pointer finger.
"I love it! Thank you." I kissed my mom and then we ended our night eating ice cream and talking about guys that we thought were pretty cute.
*****
"Don't we all have science together now?"
"I think we have even more classes together because they felt the need to change everyone's schedule." Cody rolled his eyes and eyed everyone's paper.
"Well I have English right now."
"So do I."
"Allie!" I turned around. It was Josh.
"Sorry guys, Mr. Alexandre kept us in there forever! Here Allie." It was a note, I slipped it into my pocket, blushing while he started walking next to me.
"You have English now too?"
"Yeah." I giggled uncontrollably.
"Y'all should really date, this is getting ridiculous." Joy said while holding hands with Cody.
"We'll consider it." Josh said while leading me into the classroom.