Her Balance | Nikolai x Reader x Darkling

~ Chapter 15 ~

Hi!!

It's about time the stuff that happen in this chapter, happened. Plus I owe it to you all for my inconsistent updates.

Let's get into it!

First Person - Y/n

That delightful afternoon, I finally joined the other Etherealki by the lake and called my power for them for the first time. It felt liberating as a sheet of light shimmered over the water, rolling over the waves that Ivo had summoned. It was easier than I had expected.

Since none of the other Grisha knew that I'd had so much trouble summoning light, they were all a little shocked by the change in me, and since I didn't offer any explanations, there were rumors. Genya let me in on some of the more hilarious rumors.

"Marie and Ivo were speculating that the Fjerdans had infected you with some disease when they stabbed you."

"I thought Grisha didn't get sick."

"Exactly!" she said. "That's why it was so very sinister. But apparently, the Darkling cured you by feeding you his own blood and an extract of diamonds."

"That's repulsive," I said, laughing.

"Oh, that's nothing. Zoya actually tried to put it around that you were possessed."

I laughed even harder.

My lessons with Baghra were still difficult and I never actually enjoyed them, and now there was more time spent making sure I could still call both the shadows and the light. 

But I did savor any chance to use the light, although at first, I'd been afraid that the light would disappear again and I'd be back to where I started.

"It isn't something separate from you," Baghra snapped. "It isn't an animal that shies away from you or chooses whether or not to come when you call it. Do you ask your heart to beat or your lungs to breathe? Your power serves you because that is its purpose, because it cannot help but serve you."

Sometimes I felt like there was a shadow in Baghra's words, a second meaning she wanted me to understand. But the work I was doing was hard enough without guessing at the secrets of a bitter old woman.

She drove me hard, pushing me to expand my reach and my control. She taught me to focus my power in short bright bursts, piercing beams that burned with heat, and long sustained cascades. 

She made me cast light, that would illuminate shadows, and then control those very shadows in my other hand. This was most difficult thing that she had been forcing me to learn. Even the night-time lessons where there was barely any light to summon wasn't as difficult as summoning both powers enough. 

When I had finally managed to bring one shadow into my hand, she slammed her cane down on the ground and shouted, "Not good enough!"

"I'm doing my best," I muttered in exasperation.

"Pah!" she spat. "Do you think the world cares if you do your best? Do it again and do it right."

My lessons with Botkin were even more relaxing than before. I had been able to keep up with everyone and beat a few, but with the new freedom, I was faster and stronger than everyone else. This new, stronger body paired with the better eating and sleeping had made me stronger than most and every time Botkin sparred me, I would win. 

"Little girl is even better now," he would say as I helped him up, "still I can train little girl."

The Fabrikators had produced a pair of fingerless leather gloves for me that were lined with little mirrors—the mysterious glass discs David had shown me on that first day in the workshops. With one flick of the wrist, I could slide a mirror between my fingers and bounce flashes of light off my opponents.