Her Balance | Nikolai x Reader x Darkling

~ Chapter 1 ~

Let's get into it!!

First Person - Y/n

I stood on a stone balcony with my arms spread, trying to put on a good show. Although, my scrap-made kefta wasn't really helping.

David and Genya had done their best, but there were limited resources underground.

From a distance, it did the trick, sparkling gold in the light that seemed to flow from my palms, sending bright glimmers over the faces of my followers far below.

There was no black on it, it was simply gold. Genya had branded it as my color and not a single person wore it. Some even dyed their hair dark colors so that their light hair color wouldn't show as gold in certain lighting.

Not that there was much light anyways.

The Apparat's voice boomed through the White Cathedral, and the crowd swayed, eyes closed, hands raised, a field of poppies, arms like pale stalks shaken by some wind I couldn't feel.

I followed a choreographed series of gestures, moving deliberately so that David and whichever Inferni was helping him this morning could track my movements from their position in the chamber hidden just above the balcony.

I dreaded morning prayers, but according to the priest, these false displays were a necessity.

"It is a gift you give your people, Sankta Y/n," he said. "It is hope."

Actually, it was an illusion of light. The golden haze was simply Inferni fire being reflected off a glass dish David had created. It was similar to the dishes we'd used in our failed attempt to stave off the Darkling's horde during the battle in Os Alta.

To this day, I wish I could've seen what they would've done to the armies at full power.

We'd been taken by surprise; and my power, our planning, all of David's ingenuity, and Nikolai's resourcefulness hadn't been enough to stop the slaughter.

Since then, I'd been unable to summon so much as a sliver of sun or shadow. But most of the Apparat's flock had never seen what their Saint could really do, and for now, this deception was enough.

The Apparat finished his sermon. That was the signal to end. The Inferni let the light flare brightly around me. It jumped and wavered erratically, then finally faded as I dropped my arms.

I stepped down from the platform, eager to be out of the Apparat's presence, but my foot faltered and I stumbled. The priest grasped my left arm and I winced as he steadied me.

"Have care, Y/n Oreli. You are incautious with your safety."

"Says the man who is squeezing my destroyed arm," I snapped as I pulled away from him.

My arm had gotten worse and the doctors here had told me that the tissue inside the arm had completely rotted. It would've healed if I had my powers but without them, it was basically a dead arm.

I could move it but not without pain.

"You're feeling poorly today."

"Just clumsy."

We both knew that was a lie. I was stronger than when I'd come to the White Cathedral but I was still frail and weak. 

"I will see you," I said before walking away quickly.

I was dizzy the entire time but I managed to go around a corner before completely collapsing onto the ground.

"Depp breaths, Y/n," I whispered to myself, "Deep breaths..."