Her Balance | Nikolai x Reader x Darkling

~ Chapter 14 ~

Though a double update would be a nice apology for my disappearance.

I'm also sorry in advance for what I've written in this chapter. 

:)

Let's get into it.

First Person - Y/n

The rest of the afternoon was a blur, and the next time I was essentially conscious of what I was doing was as I descended to the boiler level to say my goodbyes to Baghra and Misha.

After her dire warning, I was hardly surprised that Baghra waved me off with a scowl.

But I'd really come to see Misha. I reassured him that I had found someone to continue his lessons while we were gone, and I gifted him with one of the golden sunburst pins worn by my personal guard.

Mal wouldn't be able to wear it in the south, and the delight on Misha's face was worth all of Baghra's sneering.

I took my time wending my way back through the dark passages. It was quiet down here, and I'd barely had a moment to think since Baghra had told me her story.

I couldn't reach her room. Instead, I just collapsed in the corner and let the tears run.

"Sunbeam, what's wrong?" asked a familiar voice and I looked up and saw Nikolai rushing towards me worried, "Did something happen?"

"Baghra told me the truth," I replied, "It's not that much to cry about, I just...Baghra saved me when I was a baby. If she hadn't, I would've died but none of this would even be possible."

"You're crying because you survived?" asked Nikolai.

"Nik, me surviving caused all of this," I said, "Without me, the Darkling would've never gotten this far."

"That's not true," replied Nikolai, "Y/n, you're an Eclipse Summoner born from a Shadow and Sun Summoner. What's to say that a Sun Summoner wouldn't have appeared out of nowhere?"

"You have a point."

"I always do," said Nikolai and I smiled, "There's that smile. Y/n, I know that it may seem like your existence may have caused this but even if it did, I'm glad it did. How else was I supposed to find the love of my life? How else was Ravka supposed to find its righteous queen? Mal and Alina, their sister, and the list goes on."

"Never regret your existence, my darling sunbeam," finished Nikolai, wiping my tears and kissing my forehead, "Because your existence is what keeps me and a lot of other people alive."

"Now, come on, there's something you should see," he said.

"Is everything all right?"

"Rather spectacular, actually. It's something I've been waiting for, for a long time, and I won't wait any longer."

I looped my arm through his and said, "Never one to oversell it, are you, Lantsov?"

"It's not overselling if you deliver, Oreli."

We'd just started up the stairs when Mal came bounding down in the opposite direction. He was beaming, his face alight with excitement.

"Headed the wrong way," said Nikolai. "You're going to miss it."

"Be up in a minute," Mal replied. "I'm getting Alina."

"Hurry up!" yelled Nikolai.

"Alright, you better not do anything without me there, Lantsov," yelled Mal before he disappeared.

I looked at Nikolai confused but he just shook his head and continued walking.

When we reached the top of the stairs and entered the Spinning Wheel, my jaw dropped. The lanterns had been extinguished so that the room was dark, but all around us, stars were falling.