Her Balance | Nikolai x Reader x Darkling

~ Chapter 13 ~

HI! It's been quite a while and I hope you all are well. 

Now, I'm hoping you have all seen the new Shadow and Bone season and can I just say, Nikolai Lantsov continues as the love of my life. 

Anyways...

Let's get into it.

First Person - Y/n

A half-hour later, we were seated at the end of a table in the galley, empty glasses of tea in front of us.

Genya hadn't come, but David was there, his head bent over a pile of drafting paper as he tried to re-create the plans for the glass skiff and the formula for lumiya from memory.

For better or worse, I didn't believe he'd aided the Darkling intentionally.

David's crime was hunger for knowledge, not power.

The rest of the Spinning Wheel was empty and silent, most of the soldiers and rogue Grisha still asleep.

"I have to warn West Ravka," said Nikolai breaking the silence. "They'll need to evacuate the area along the shore of the Fold."

Nikolai rubbed a hand over his face. It was the first crack I'd seen in his confidence.

"They won't keep to the alliance, will they?" Mal asked and I shook my head.

"The blockade was a gesture West Ravka was willing to make when they thought they were safe from reprisal," I said, "The first sign that the Darkling is coming will change their minds."

"If they capitulate," said Tamar, "will the Darkling still march?"

"This isn't just about the blockade," I said. "It's about isolating us, making sure we don't have anywhere to turn. And it's about power. He wants to use the Fold. He always has...It's a compulsion."

"What kind of numbers can you raise?" Mal asked Nikolai.

"All told? We could probably rally a force of roughly five thousand," answered Nikolai, "They're spread throughout cells in the northwest, so the problem is mobilizing, but I think it can be done. We also have reason to suspect some of the militias may be loyal to us. There have been massive desertions from the base at Poliznaya and the northern and southern fronts."

"What about the Soldat Eclipsia?" asked Tolya. "They'll fight. I know they would lay down their lives for Y/n. They've done it before."

"But can we rely on the Apparat?" asked Nikolai frowning, and I knew it was only because of what I had told him, "What exactly does he want?"

"I think he wants to survive," I said. "I doubt he'll risk a head-on confrontation with the Darkling unless he's sure of the outcome."

"We could use the additional numbers," Nikolai admitted.

"I don't like this," I said. "Any of it. We're talking about throwing a lot of bodies at the nichevo'ya. The casualties will be unheard of."

"You know we'll be right out there with them," said Nikolai.

"That's my point," I said, "With the number of casualties that are inevitable, I don't want you or anyone here one of them."

"If the Darkling uses the Fold to sever us from any possible allies, then Ravka is his. He'll only get stronger, consolidate his forces, Y/n," said Nikolai, "I won't just give up because I know that you won't either."

"Nikolai, the only way we would stand a chance is with thousands of me," I answered, "It's near impossible to fight the Darkling's army with the numbers of non-Grisha we have."