Her Balance | Nikolai x Reader x Darkling

~ Chapter 4 ~

As promised!!

First Person - Y/n

"Holy Saints," I said as I sat up breathing heavily.

I didn't expect it to work, but I was glad it did. Now I knew what he saw when he visited me, what information he could or couldn't cull from the contact.

Now I had practice in one more power that had only belonged to him. And I'd enjoyed it. At the Little Palace, I'd dreaded those visions, the ones that strained Nikolai's and my relationship.

Now it was my turn to make him suffer.

A headache was starting in my right temple.

I sought Morozova's amplifiers for you, Y/n. What lies. He just wanted more power in me to take for himself, believing he could control me. He still did, and part of me wondered whether he could.

The Darkling had no way of knowing that Mal and I knew where to start looking for the third amplifier, but he hadn't seemed concerned.

He hadn't even mentioned the firebird. He'd seemed confident, strong, as if he belonged in that palace and on that throne. I know things about power that you can barely guess at.

I just had to educate myself on them. Soon.

--

The services were quite a spectacle. It was still a challenge to summon so far underground, but I threw blazing light over the walls of the White Cathedral, drawing on every reserve to awe the crowd that moaned and swayed below.

Vladim stood to my left, his shirt open to display the brand of my palm on his chest. To my right, the Apparat held forth, and whether out of fear or real belief, he did a very convincing job of it.

His voice rang through the main cavern, claiming that our mission was guided by divine providence and that I would emerge from my trials more powerful than ever before.

I studied him as he spoke. He looked paler than usual, a bit sweaty though not particularly chastened. I wondered if it was a mistake to leave him alive, but without the rush of fury and power guiding my actions, execution wasn't a step I was prepared to consider seriously.

A hush had fallen. I looked down into the eager faces of the people below. There was something new in their exultation, maybe because they'd gotten a glimpse of my real power. Or maybe because the Apparat had done his work so well.

They were waiting for me to say something. I'd had dreams like this. I was an actor in a play, but I'd never learned my lines.

"I will return more powerful than before," I said in my best Saint's voice. "You are my eyes. You are my fists. You are my swords."

The crowd cheered. As one, they chorused back to me,

Sankta Y/n! Sankta Y/n! Sankta Y/n!

"Not bad," Mal said as I stepped away from the balcony.

"That was uncomfortable," I replied and Mal laughed, "But I've been listening to the Apparat go on for nearly three months. Guess something rubbed off."

On my orders, the Apparat announced that he would spend three days in isolation, fasting and praying for the success of our mission. The Priestguards would do the same, confined to the archives and guarded by the Soldat Eclipsia.

"Keep them strong in their faith," I told a girl and the other soldiers.

I hoped that three days would give us plenty of time to get well away from the White Cathedral. But knowing the Apparat, he'd probably talk his way out before dinner.