Her Balance | Nikolai x Reader x Darkling

~ Chapter 22 ~

Hello! 

Sorry for not posting for so long. 

Let's get into it.

First Person - Y/n

My light kept us warm through the night in the protection of the rock. Sometimes I dozed off and Mal or Alina had to nudge me awake so that I could pull sun across the dark and light stretches of Tsibeya to warm us beneath the furs.

When we emerged the next morning, the sun shone brightly over a world blanketed in white. This far north, snow was common well into spring, but it was hard not to feel that the weather was just another part of our bad luck. 

Mal took one look at the pristine expanse of the meadow and gave a disgusted shake of his head. I didn't have to ask what he was thinking. If the herd had been close by, any sign they had left would have been covered by the snow. But we would leave plenty of tracks for anyone else to follow.

"What do we do?" asked Alina as we stowed our furs away. 

"We have no other choice," said Mal and we began to walk across the plateau. We all did what we could to disguise our tracks but it was clear that we were in serious trouble. 

Eventually, the meadow gave way to groves of thin silver birches and dense clusters of pines, their branches laden with snow. 

Our paces slowed drastically. We were all exhausted, and I felt Alina's hand slide into mine. On an impulse, I slid my other hand into Mal's. 

I expected him to might pull away, but instead, he squeezed my fingers. I focused on the light again, allowing it to give us heat. It wasn't visible in the daylight, but began to shine as we continued to walk this way, into the dark heart of the woods. 

Around sunset, we emerged from the trees into a little glade where the snow lay in heavy, perfect drifts that glittered in the fading light. We slipped into the stillness, our footfalls muffled by the snow. It was late. I knew we should be making camp, finding shelter. 

Instead, we stood there in silence, hands clasped, watching the day disappear.

"Y/n?" Mal said quietly. "I'm sorry. For what I said that night, at the Little Palace."

"It's about time," mumbled Alina, letting go of my hands. "I'm going to let you both talk, I saw a nice landscape back there to draw."

"Alina-" began Mal, but she waved him off. 

"I'll be fine, and I'll yell if you need me."

She walked off towards a few off the woods, and left me and Mal standing there.  I glanced at him, surprised.

"I'm sorry, too," I said. 

"And I'm sorry for everything else."

"I knew we didn't have much chance of finding the stag."

"No, I don't mean that," he said, looking away from me. "I...When we came after you, I thought I was doing it because I owed you a debt. You always protected us, and I thought we needed to repay the favor."

"And now?"

"I don't think of it as a debt, I think of it as a way of life. Brothers protected sisters, and sisters protected brothers don't they?"

I smiled at him, and he smiled back. Whatever tension or hate was between us had evaporated and we were somewhat back to normal. 

"Did you really think that you were in a better place?" asked Mal. "That night at the palace when I saw you on that stage with him, you looked so happy. Like you belonged with him. I want you to be happy, and even if it's with him...I won't like it but I won't stop it."