Her Balance | Nikolai x Reader x Darkling

~ Chapter 3 ~

What's this?! 

A double update?!?!

Let's get into it.

First Person - Y/n

The doors flew open and I sent out giant streams of shadow before destroying them with blinding rays of light. 

A cry went up from the people lining the tunnel. Those who weren't already kneeling fell to their knees, and a chorus of prayer washed over me.

"Speak," I muttered to the Apparat. "And make it good."

"We have faced a great trial this day," he declared hurriedly. "Our Saint has emerged from it stronger than before. Faith prevailed!"

 "And power," I said, sweeping light through the passage again. 

Most of these people had never seen what my power could truly do. Someone was weeping, and I heard my name, buried in the cries of "Sankta! Sankta!"

As I led the Apparat and the Priestguards through the White Cathedral, my mind was working, turning over options. Vladim went ahead of us, to see my orders done.

We finally had a chance to get free of this place. But what would it mean to leave the White Cathedral behind? I'd be abandoning an army and leaving them in the Apparat's care.

And yet, there weren't many options open to us. I needed to get aboveground. I needed the firebird and the man I love.

Mal dispatched Tamar to rally the rest of the Soldat Eclipsia and search out more working firearms. My control of the Priestguards was tenuous at best. In case of trouble, we wanted guns at the ready, and I hoped I could rely on the eclipse soldiers to stay loyal to me.

I escorted the Apparat to his quarters myself, Mal and Tolya trailing us.

At his door, I said, "In one hour, we'll lead services together. Tonight, I leave with my Grisha and you'll sanction our departure."

"Koroleva Eclipsia," the Apparat whispered, "I urge you not to return to the surface so soon. The Darkling's position is not a strong one. The Lantsov boy has few allies—"

"I'm his ally," I replied angrily. 

"I know you trust him but he abandoned you at the Little Palace."

"On my orders," I replied.

Nikolai had intended to get his family, Alina, and Baghra to safety, then return to the fight. I was glad he didn't. He could've been one more life lost, but he was a life that I couldn't bear to lose.

"Let them weaken each other, see which way the wind blows—"

"I owe Nikolai Lantsov more than that," I snapped. 

"Is it loyalty that drives you? Or greed?" pressed the Apparat. "Nikolai Lantsov isn't even royalty. He is a-"

"Watch your words, priest," I threatened, ready to raise my hand, "You are at my mercy. Any word against Nikolai is a word against me. And I don't take being insulted lightly."

The Apparat blinked in fear and it was petty and evil, but I took pleasure in seeing him like that. 

"The amplifiers have waited countless years to be brought together, and you cannot wait a few more months?" asked the Apparat.

My jaw clenched at the thought. I wasn't sure what was driving me, if it was my need for vengeance or something higher, if it was hunger for the firebird or relationship with Nikolai. But it didn't much matter.