Her Balance | Nikolai x Reader x Darkling

~ Chapter 16 ~

Hi, double update today!

Let's get into it!

First Person - Y/n

In the end, everyone stayed. Even Zoya, though she kept up her complaints all the way to Dva Stolba.

We'd agreed to split into two groups. Tamar, Nadia, and Adrik would travel with David, Genya, Alina, and Misha to the southeast edge of the valley. 

Mal and I would travel into the Sikurzoi with Zoya, Harshaw, and Tolya. 

Alina had tried to convince us to let her come but because we were so close to the border, we knew we might be facing an increased military presence.

A pregnant woman wouldn't be the easiest person to blend in with. She had argued but Mal and I were convinced of not letting her come. 

If we weren't back from the mountains in two weeks, Tamar would meet with any forces the Apparat might send to Caryeva. 

I didn't like the idea of sending her and Nadia alone, but we were limited. My only comfort was that she and Nadia were both experienced fighters so they could defend themselves. 

Our team left at sunrise, and I saw Misha was awake, watching us. I sent the others to get ready while Mal and I stayed back.

"Come here," I said, waving him over.  

"I want to come," said Misha. 

"Do you have the pin I gave you?" I asked and Misha nodded. "You know what that means, don't you? You're a soldier. Soldiers don't go where they want to. They go where they're needed."

"You just don't want me with you," said Misha.

"Misha," I whispered and I leaned down so I was eye level with him, "Of course I want you with me. You're my favorite among all of them."

"Then why can't I?" he asked smiling. 

"I need you here to take care of the others. Alina is pregnant which means she needs someone's help with tasks here and there. David is pretty much hopeless and Adrik is going to need help too," I explained to him, "Can you do that?"

Misha shrugged.

"We need you to take care of them the way you took care of Baghra."

"But I didn't take care of her."

"Yes you did. You watched over her, and you let her go when she needed you to."

"I didn't want to," said Misha and he teared up a little bit. "I should have stopped her."

"I know," I said and I pulled him into a tight hug. 

He hugged me back hard as I continued, "It was hard but you did what had to be done, even though it hurt you. That's what soldiers do and without you, none of us would be here."

"You still lost someone," said Misha and I felt a lump in my throat.

"I know but he is out there. I'll find him," I told him as we both separated. Until then, can you keep this place together?"

Misha smiled and then nodded. 

"Thank you," I said. "You can start by getting water boiling for breakfast."

Misha nodded once, then jogged back through the gravel to get the water on. Mal glanced at me smiling.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. That was just...really well done," said Mal. 

"He deserves the entire world," I said. "He lost his mother and then Baghra."