Her Balance | Nikolai x Reader x Darkling

~ Chapter 6 ~

A little apology gift from me since I disappeared.

Let's get into it!

First Person - Y/n

We laid out bedding and divvied up food. Adrik and Nadia started raising a tent while Tolya and Mal scouted the perimeter, setting up stands where guards would be posted.

I saw Stigg trying to get Sergei to eat. I'd hoped that being aboveground might bring him around, but though Sergei seemed less panicked, I could still feel the tension coming off him in waves.

I was sitting by the river which I had found while looking around, with my legs inside staring up at the sky.

There was a night that Nikolai and I had spent like this. Just us, stargazing after a particularly boring meeting.

"Oh, the view is beautiful," I said looking at the stars.

"Yes, it is," replied Nikolai.

I turned to face him and he was just looking at me.

"You're not even looking," I replied.

"Of course I am," said Nikolai, "I'm looking at the best view I could ever find in this world."

"I miss you, Nik," I whispered into the air, "Please be ok."

"Mumbling to the saints, are we?" asked Zoya's voice and I sat up. "Although, I don't know any Saints named Nik."

"Ha, ha, very funny," I replied before laying back down.

"Y/n, we will find him," said Zoya laying down next to me, "You two can't be separated. You're Y/n and Nikolai, the future King and Queen of Ravka."

"You really think we'll win?" I asked.

"Of course," replied Zoya, "We may not have more people and experience, but we have hearts. And that's something the Darkling doesn't have."

"We also have you," continued Zoya, "Someone who was strong long before the amplifiers."

"I'm not so sure about that," I replied.

"I am, you just need to be more confident," stated Zoya, "We all know you can destroy the Grand Palace in a snap if you really wanted to. Do you?"

"Y/n, we wouldn't have come all this way just to help you find a third amplifier that may or may not be what you need," continued Zoya standing up, "We followed you because you have the heart and will of a Queen. Someone we know has the power to make change. I don't doubt it. They don't doubt it. So, you need to stop doubting it."

She walked away after and I watched her do it. I replayed the words she said in my head, trying to ask myself if they were true.

Could I really be a Queen? Could I make the hard decisions that a Queen would have to make?

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Genya laughing. They all were. It was a sight that I hadn't seen in a while.

Life in the White Cathedral had been miserable. Up here, things felt wilder, freer. Yes, they were more dangerous but we were in control again.

And as happy as it was, the dark truth of it still reigned. Militias and the Darkling's men roamed these lands. Whether we found Nikolai or not, we were back in this war, and that meant more battles, more lives lost.

But we were better, smaller, but better.

I looked at our camp: Harshaw already curled up and snoozing with Oncat on his chest; Sergei, pale and watchful; David, back propped against a tree, a book in his hands as Genya fell asleep with her head in his lap; Nadia and Adrik struggling with poles and canvas while Zoya looked on and didn't bother to help.