The Roommate

18.

This early update is dedicated to zoza138.

Joshua pov

I had called Bangchan and Felix from Australia to attend Seungkwan's funeral. I knew they were close friends before we bullied them and sent them back to their hometown. I was waiting for them at the airport along with the rest. They came out of the airport and got the look of utmost hate when they saw Wonwoo and Jeonghan.

"What are those two doing here?" Bangchan asks me in English.

Before I could reply all them were down on their knees and kneeling in front of them.

"I am so so so sorry for what we did. I knew it will be impossible for you to forgive us after all we hurt you. But we are changed people now. We are sorry." 

Jun got up soon as he couldn't bend like that. They both look stunned at all of them. I don't think they were expecting them to apologize at all.

"Please get up. We are in the middle of an airport. Let's get out of the way."

I quickly usher them inside the van and we all go. Since the boarding house was only 10 minutes away, we reached home in no time. We hadn't told them about them coming. I poke my head in their house but I find it empty. I go downstairs into Minghao and Seungkwan's house. I find Seungcheol crying with one of his endless wonder girls posters in his hand.

"Hyung?" Felix says and he whips around his head so fast that I was afraid he is gonna get whiplash.

"Lixxie? Channie?" He runs up and hugs them both so tight.

"How come you both are here?"

"We heard about kwannie from Joshua hyung. I feel so terrible. I am so sorry." As this discussion was going on Mingyu and Minghao walk inside. They both give a big yelp of surprise and run to hug them. 

"What are you doing here?" Mingyu asks while Mingyu runs out to get the others so that they can meet them.

"I heard Kwannie died. Joshua hyung contacted me and called us here." 

Jihoon,Soonyoung and Seokmiin rush through the door, toppling many of us and hug them.

"Let's leave them to let them catch up." I mutter quietly and we all leave to let them catch up in peace.

"Are Seungkwan's parents coming?" I ask and Wonwoo shakes his head.

"They are busy and don't have enough money to come." Chan says dejectedly.

"But I arranged for the money, would they come?" I ask eagerly. I thought his parents must be there.

"No. They don't want anything to do with him now that he is not sending them any money. They said very clearly on the phone." Jun adds and it makes my blood boil.

"Parents are fucking useless. Just like mine are." Chan says.

"Don't curse." All five of say together.

"Whatever. Let's go look  at those caterers for the funeral..." Chan says but Jeonghan cuts him off.

"We don't need to look at caterers. Hongjoong hyung, Yeonjun hyung and Yeji noona are helping with the food."

"Okay." We all go our separate ways.

Soonyoung pov

Today was the day of the funeral. I woke up, fully aware that today was the last day I'll get to see Seungkwan's face. Sure, I teased him all the time but he knew I loved him and now I will never get to see him again.

"What are you thinking?" Jihoon says snapping me out of my reverie.

"I was just thinking that this is the last time I will ever see Seungkwan's face."

"I know." He holds my hand and we lay in bed like that for a long time.

"Get up idiots." Seungcheol hyung yells from somewhere from outside.

We get up and dress to go to Seungcheol hyung's house. We were all going to take the bus together except Mingyu who was coming with his body with the vehicle. Everybody looks depressed. It was like being in the hospital all over again.

"Here, have some breakfast." Jeonghan hyung says although I notice that he has eaten nothing himself. He thrusts a plate in front of me and goes back to his full plate. None of us were really hungry so after what seemed like forever, Seungcheol hyung announces that it is time to leave. All of us dump our food and go down to the bus. In what seems like no time, we are in the cremation ground.

Seungkwan had always said "If I die, I want you to burn my body and grow the ashes in a plant. That way you will never forget me." So that's what we did.

Since his parents weren't here, Seungcheol hyung did all the rituals. As we lit his body, I suddenly didn't feel like crying any more. I don't know why but suddenly I knew he wasn't going anywhere. As long as we were alive and his memories, he was never gonna completely leave us. All of us just stood there till there was nothing left but ashes. We quietly gathered all the ashes and put it in this little box. We get back home and put his ashes in his room, which was now completely bare except that little box. Mingyu soons walks in with this little camelia plant.

"Camelia was his favourite flower. It only seemed fitting." We all nod in agreement and fill a big pot filled with soil and his ashes. We put the plant in and keep it by his window so that it gets enough sunlight. 

Mingyu pov

As everybody was leaving, I notice a small box that we hadn't seen before. I pull it out and see letters addressed to Minghao, Seokmin, Seungcheol hyung, Jeonghan hyung, Soonyoung and Jihoon hyung.

"You guys." They stop.

"Seungkwan has left these letters for us." 

I distribute the letters to their respective recipients and everyone files out of the room. I sink down on his now bare bed and ease the flap of the envelope open. Out falls the last words he will ever say to me. I start reading the letter.

Hey Mingyu,

We have been friends for a long time and I hide nothing from you. You may wonder why then am I writing you a letter. It's because I like you and you are too thick to see it. But that's okay. I will always stay by your side whether it's like your best friend or boyfriend. But sometimes it hurts. It hurts staying by your side as a friend. Sometimes I want to confess to you but I'm scared that you will reject me. But yet I never lost hope. I'm still hoping that you will fall for me instead of the part time worker at the ice cream shop. But it just dosen't happen. I don't know how long I will be able to hold on. Seungcheol hyung is always telling me to move on and that there are other much better men out there. But there isn't a more kinder and handsome and sexy and cute man out there. So why don't you see me too?

I am unable to read further because there are tears in my eyes.

I'm sorry Seungkwan for telling you this so late. I love you too.

How are you all doing luvs? If anytime you feel like you need to talk to someone who will listen to you without judgement please feel free to reach out to me. 

My instagram id is sungjinbiased. Feel free to dm me.