Tormented By Memories | Draco Malfoy

42 - O V E R T H I N K I N G

AN: I wanted to say there is talk about beliefs in this chapter and this doesn't effect anything, you can still think she believes in something else. And kind of gets emotional too. I think most will find this chapter boring and it doesn't really cover much but what they believe in so you can skip if it gets boring but near the end it's soft and cute. So it's up to you. Happy readings!!

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"Black space— nothing."
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Alexandra Stone. (Two weeks later.)

Two weeks already went by and the students came back looking miserable and sad. It was a new year and resolutions weren't possible as I usually did. I wanted to go back. One year ago. When everything wasn't doomed. But that's not true. Everything leads back to the present moment.

It almost feels like a dream. But a nightmare. Both combined. It's what it feels like to love him in this twisted world. It almost felt fake, but so real. It is real right? Is everything a lie? All of these months spent here, were a dream? That wasn't true.

Of course it was all real the imagination couldn't do all of this and explain everything about this in one night. Even if I were asleep for weeks. There is no way possible this is a dream. But constantly it struck my mind. What if it were?

I got snapped out of my thoughts by Draco waking up. It's just like it was before. I woke up before everyone. I used to when I was paranoid. I am paranoid, everything to do with the war is just scaring my mind. For Draco of course.

Draco rubbed the back of his head doing everything in silence as if he thought I was asleep, he did think I was asleep. He got up going into the bathroom to check his reflection which put a smile on my face that was faded when I went back into my thought process.

What happens if this is a dream? What happens when you die? I often though about this question on my own time. What does happen? I looked at the evidence of everything and everyone's beliefs. Heaven— hell, all of it. Everyone believed in something— they have to. They have to count on something to make it all make sense.

But I had a different idea. I wanted to— to believe in all of that stuff. And even when I was growing up, my mums side of the family believed in God and an afterlife. My dads side had no comment. As if they had the answer. I remember something my dad muttered before he died, that would always wonder my curiosity. "Black space— nothing." I never knew what he was referring to.

I drew up a couple of things. Like when you die, you see nothing black— no memories. Frozen in time with nothing to see— nothing to remember. I wish I believed in something else. That is always what my mind thought of. It lead me to the second topic. How was everything created?

People respond with it just was— to god created it. I, for a while was fascinated with it all. What people thought. I even wanted to know what Draco thought. I didn't even notice him worriedly glaring at me thinking and looking at the ceiling. "Sorry." I muttered getting up.

"What were you thinking about?" He asked as I knew he was going to ask. "Everything— questioning everything. I need to ask you a question too." I said as I trembled from thought. He nodded for me to go on. "Actually two questions. What do you think happens when you die and how do you think everything was created?" I asked probably scaring him.

"Well I want to believe there is an afterlife. Maybe a god maybe not I don't really believe in him. And I don't like when people say everything was just there— I need answers proven answers." I nodded as he spoke agreeing with the need for proven answers. "And I believe in the Theory of Evolution." He said thinking on it.

"Thank Merlin someone finally is close to being on the same page as me I also believe in the Theory of Evolution." I said smiling as I put toothpaste on my toothbrush.

"You're now overthinking everything because you think you're going to die right?" He asked rubbing my back. I spit out some foam.

"I mean it has crossed my mind as why I thought about it all. But I can't lie it is the reason. This war it's not scaring me for death, I'm not really scared for death. But I mean I am. It's hard to explain. But I don't want you to be alone. But if I do die I want you to live for me." I said gazing into his grey eyes.

"You're not going to die Stone." He only spoke my last name when he was about to cry and it wasn't bearable to say my name. "I— and asking me to live for you. Do you know how much I would suffer? And no!" He shouted with tears forming in his tear ducts. "You are going to remain alive and we're going to have kids— and ugh I don't want to turn into my father."

"What are we doing? We need to drop this conversation it's turning into a weeping mess." I said as a tear rolled down my cheek. Honestly we were both overreacting— well no that isn't right this could happen not Draco turning into his father everything else could. Overthinking. That is what we always did. You could call us the overthought couple.

In the end we both relaxed with the thinking and decided to wait on the shower instead we oddly walked back over to bed, but as I was going to get in he stopped me and picked me up by my thighs taking me to his desk. He set me down going to his dresser he got one of his biggest shirts and took off my clothes. Slipping it on me.

As I jumped down I stumbled grabbing onto him and he rolled and he somehow got inside the shirt getting us tangled together. Both of us laughed, "how did you even get inside the shirt?" I asked not able to breath from the laughing he to was unable ti contain his laughing.

"I have no idea." He said peaking his head out of the top of the shirt to meet me, our heads were so close together. He threaded his hands with mine and locked his eyes with mine, not tearing them away.

We both were unable to look away. He then looked at my lips licking his cheek, lowering his head to meet my lips. We kissed for a long time with him on top of me— our hands placed together— our lips locked.

Until footsteps were echoing through the hallway of course headed to their room. They didn't care though. They kept their position not moving. The door swung open.

"Hey—"

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Hi! Thoughts?? <333