Tormented By Memories | Draco Malfoy

51 - O N E Y E A R L A T E R

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"Can you read me this book?"
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Third Person.

At her funeral a year ago I made her name Alexandra Malfoy. I couldn't just leave it like Stone. I miss her terribly. Everywhere I look a memory of her exists. I just wish I could preserve her. I have her poem book, that is what I recovered from our dorm. I have all of her clothes that sit in her own dresser up stairs in our room.

Even if she isn't here. It will always be our room. I don't think I will ever move on from the girl who stole my heart then shattered it. She did. Shatter it. She left me and moved to a different dimension. Or as she said is just dead. Nothing. Blank. I would never know. Sometimes I wish to join her.

But again. I couldn't leave my son. Scorpius. I could— would never. She changed me. She shaped me into who I am. Scorpius is not living in the hostile environment I lived in growing up. Instead he gets what he wants and is spoiled to an extent I can't even follow. My father died a month ago. I didn't even bother going to the funeral.

My mother shouldn't have gone. My mind just keeps floating back to her. How unfinished everything was. Age seventeen and didn't get to meet her son, didn't get to marry me, and was stabbed to death, survived and then, died of a heart attack, and they did another autopsy and she had a brain aneurysm. 

A huge brain aneurysm. All I wish I could do is go back. I'd do everything over again exactly the same way. And I would do anything— mark my word— anything to get her back. I miss her scent. The way we had euphoria when ever we kissed. How her lips met mine. I would redo the parts where I hurt her.

I need her back. The one time I had something good in my life it gets taken away. But I will always wonder. Did she know? Did she know when she sent me to the cafeteria she was going to die, and didn't want me to see her die. Wanted to save me the pain. Well I am in pain every second without her.

She had to know. I wanted to at least say goodbye to the woman who made my heart stop. Why couldn't anyone spare me that? I wanted to hear her precious voice once more. I didn't handle it well at first. I was depressed and rarely ever got out of bed besides to handle Scorpius, he is huge now. He was just a little baby a year ago, that I didn't think was going to make it.

It did cross my mind every now and then if I wanted to ask Hermione if she knew who killed her so I could repay the favor. I needed to repay it. Desperately. A part of me thinks she would've wanted me to move on but another part thinks she would be jealous and delusional.

I just can't decide so the best solution is to just not try anything, but I feel like Scorpius might need a female in the house. It is too difficult.

"Dada!" Draco heard a voice come from the other room. He wrote his name at the bottom of his journal and shut it walking into his room. "Can you read me this book?" He asked showing him Alexandra's poem book.

"I think those need to wait until you're older to have purpose." Draco said as it probably didn't make sense to Scorpius. "What does pur-pose mean?" He asked playing with a toy.

"It's a reason for something that exists— for an example the book wouldn't have purpose to you now because you won't remember it. But I can read it to you if you want or I can read you this book." He smiled showing him a random children's book he liked Draco to read to him.

"Yes! Read that one!" Scorpius screeched and he laughed, "Okay." He said beginning to read to him.

While reading it to him he feel asleep, and Draco covered him with a blanket. He was really smart for being one year old. He thought as he went up to their room and changed into her favorite hoodie of his. The anniversary of her death was tomorrow. He wanted her desperately and tears prickled in his eyes. Her image haunted his mind.

When the doctors were removing her ventilator. Her face going completely pale. The doctor taking out Scorpius. It was all haunting him. He just wanted it to stop. He left her side of the bed empty.

It remained empty.

He never touched her stuff.

It would always remain untouched, to preserve the scent of her.

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Hi. Uhm. Epilogue out.