you'll find me here forever ➳ kol mikaelson [ the vampire diaries ]

☆ 1.22 ~ shadow of the sun

they say that life is always easier
after you let yourself come undone
~ max elto, shadow of the sun

The past few days had been challenging for Lydia but she didn't realize the full extent until she awake the next morning after she had been reunited with Kol. She was too tired the night before to think about any of it, but after waking long before Kol and having time to think about all of it, she started to think about all the things that had gone wrong and all of it started with the compulsion done by Damon at the order of Elena. Going to school in California hadn't been bad, she didn't care about that, but Lydia was tired of having her mind played with. She was tired of being compelled to forget things and then remembering days later, she felt like she was losing her mind and she was tired of that. Not to mention it was being done by two people who were suppose to care for her. Her sister and her friend, yet neither of them seemed to notice how it was making her feel.

Lydia knew that Kol was alive, he was sleeping peacefully right next to her, but she had still been compelled to think that she killed him and the pain she felt when she did that couldn't even have been described. That was the only bad thing that happened. She also got back together with her ex boyfriend and had no clue how to handle that situation. Lydia knew that she could typically go to Kol about any issues she was having, but this time was different because she didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want him thinking that she wanted to be with Jace and not him and she was worried that she wouldn't be able to leave Jace again. The first time was hard so hopefully the second would be easier, especially now that she was with Kol, but she was worried that it could also be more difficult.

"Good morning," Kol distracted Lydia from her thoughts as he woke up, his voice still raspy and quiet as he leaned over at kissed her cheek softly.

"Try afternoon," Lydia responded with a small smile as she gestured towards the clock on the nightstand which showed that it was close to one.

"How long have you been up?" Kol wondered, his face now pressed against the pillow as Lydia faced him and shrugged her shoulders.

"About an hour," Lydia answered. She didn't get out of bed since she was too nervous to go downstairs without Kol, not wanting to run into Klaus. She had a feelings things would be awkward. She also didn't mind laying next to Kol, even if she wasn't sleeping, she still felt more rested just relaxing and laying in bed.

Kol frowned as Lydia spoke, noticing that something was wrong. She seemed down."Unless you have had a change of heart about me being here, something is bothering you. And please, you know you cannot lie to me."

"About that," Lydia asked curiously."Is being able to tell when someone is lying a vampire thing?"

"Somewhat," Kol answered with a small shrug."Your heartbeat changes when you lie, however, that is not how I know when you are lying. You are way too obvious. So you might as well tell me what is troubling you."