you'll find me here forever ➳ kol mikaelson [ the vampire diaries ]

☆ 2.2 ~ take me home

wrapped up, so consumed by all this hurt
if you ask me, don't know where to start
anger, love, confusion roads that go nowhere
i know there's somewhere better
'cause you always take me there
jesse glynne ~ take me home

A sharp winter breeze brushed against Kol's skin as he felt the melting snow begin to wet the black gloves that he was wearing as he rested them against the wood he was sitting on. The wetness should have been a bit uncomfortable for him, but he couldn't feel it. He didn't really feel anything. He was numb. The only reason he brushed the snow off before he sat down was because he didn't exactly want to show up with wet clothing nor did he want to hear Elijah complaining about how he ruined his suit although Kol didn't think Elijah would do that today of all days.

In his other hand, Kol stared down at the weapon he was holding. The same one that forbid the woman he loved to be sitting next to him now. If it wasn't for that weapon, Lydia would be with him now asking some question which would only make Kol laugh and answer only because he loved her. That weapon was known for nothing but destruction. It could wipe out a whole sireline, thousands of lives gone just like that. This weapon didn't even touch his heart and yet he felt like it had pierced through because it did something worse than kill him. It killed the one person who meant more to him than anything.

He didn't even know why he was holding it. Perhaps he thought it was safest with him. Now that Lydia was gone, Kol was sure to return to his old ways and the last thing he wanted was for this to land in the hands of his siblings if they decided daggering him was not good enough. He would also it rather not fall into the wrong hands again.

Kol let out a small sigh as he looked over at the water which had frozen over, smiling slightly thinking about the memory he shared with Lydia when he first found this place. Lydia was the whole reason he was now here. He saw Lydia everywhere he looked and in everything he did. But it wasn't enough. Here in their spot, he was surrounded by her. Here was where he felt at home. Being without her now was rough. He knew he had only met Lydia about five months ago, but it felt like she was in every memory of his. He felt like he had met her years ago because every moment he spent with her or thinking about her, he took time to fully appreciate it.

"Kol?" A quiet voice spoke from behind him, one that Kol instantly recognized. He was just surprised that she had found him out here. When he turned his head slightly, he saw Caroline with her hands crossed in front of her black coat."I don't mean to bother you and I know you probably don't want me to intrude but everyone's looking for you. They don't want to start without you."

"How did you find me?" Kol asked after a moment, turning back to look at over the water.

"Lydia told me about this place," Caroline answered, feeling like she didn't have a right to be here. It felt like she was intruding on their spot but Kol didn't seem to mind."She told me that it was the first time she felt safe, when you brought her here. She. . . She told me a lot about you. And god, you should have seen her when she talked about you. Her eyes would brighten and her cheeks would get all flushed and she'd stutter in excitement."