you'll find me here forever ➳ kol mikaelson [ the vampire diaries ]

☆ 5.13 ~ touch

TW: small mention of suicidal thoughts
i know the sirens sound
just before the walls come down
pain's a well-intentioned weatherman
predicting god as best he can
but god, i wanna feel again
~ sleeping at last, touch

Question of the chapter: Who would you want to see Lydia in a relationship with? Aside from Kol. Comment your answer please!

Lydia's hands were tight around the dark blue mug in her hand. If she squeezed anymore, she would shatter it, causing the hot liquid to spill onto her skin. So Lydia loosened her grip a little bit. She would rather that not happen. The cup was hot enough in her hands and even if she could heal quickly, she didn't want to feel that pain. She also didn't think she could stomach the smell of that tea all over her. It was tough enough just holding it in her hand. It was Chamomile tea, it was one of Elijah's preferred teas. She remembered because he had made it for her a few times, always adding different ingredients to switch it up. Sometimes it was honey, others it was vanilla. Lydia was never much of a tea drinker, but Elijah would make it when they would talk so Lydia would drink it with him. Before, Lydia enjoyed the smell. It was comforting, now it only reminded her of him and that reminded her of what she did.

She would have turned it down had she been told what type of tea it would be. Or maybe not. She didn't want to come off as rude, not when she was asking for someone's help.

"Are you sure you don't want to come inside?" Adrianna asked from beside Lydia, causing her to look up from the mug and over to her biological mother."It's a bit chilly tonight."

"I, I don't think that you should invite me inside," Lydia shook her head as she took a deep breath and looked straight ahead.

It was a beautiful property that Adrianna had. A beautiful home. It was somewhere up in some hills, surrounded by nature. There were neighbours, but they couldn't be seen. The various plants and trees blocked them from the few. Lydia couldn't help but wonder how different her life would have been if she grew up here. This could have been her life. Maybe it would have been better for her. She would have had a regular childhood. She never would have had to deal with the lie that was told to her by Grayson and Miranda. She would have been healthy and happy. That was until her abilities would begin to creep in, twisting her and bringing her to the monster she was today. The type of person who hurt their own family. She would have ruined this life too.

"Lydia, I can't help you, if you don't tell me what's wrong," Adrianna spoke again."All you said was that I was right."

"Yes, you all were," Lydia said quietly."You. Miranda. Grayson. That stupid town council. You were all right about what I would become. About wanting to stop me."

"You were so certain that I was wrong last time we saw each other," Adrianna reminded her, causing Lydia to flinch. Lydia wished she could go back in time to that very moment. That was right before Christmas. Right before Kol's proposal that ended in the flipping of her humanity switch and betrayal instead of wedded bliss.