Even Heroes Have Scars

[80] My Love is Like a Star

Demi's P.O.V.

I wasn't sure why this goodbye was so hard, because both of us knew we'd see each other soon. I'd gotten Ansley and Jacob two V.I.P. tickets for my Dallas show a week and a half into my tour, as well as access to my rehearsals. I hadn't planned any farther in advance, as I knew I'd have to ask permission from management before inviting them again.

Today was the morning that I was supposed to leave. I rolled over in my bed to find Ansley, still sleeping soundly beside me, unclothed. My clothes were on, as I almost never slept naked unless sex exhausted me so much I couldn't go to the bathroom and clean up after.

White light flooded the room through the windows, the curtains diffusing the light to make it a soft glow that poured around us. As I scooted closer to her, I kissed her cheek and wrapped my arms around her torso, closing my eyes again as I held her close. She was usually the big spoon, but it was nice for me to get a chance at that for once.

The room felt mystical, so purely white and crisp and clean – aside from last night's clothes being spewed about the room. And then I found what saddened me, what pulled me from my comforting, heavenly paradise: my suitcases across the room, piled beside the door. A reminder that I would be leaving this oasis of a room for two months, that I'd barely get to see my girlfriend.

I joked about sneaking her into my hotel room, but I couldn't even smuggle in candy or anything remotely unhealthy, so how could I sneak in a person? Younger me used to be good at it, sneaking drug dealers and partiers into my room in the middle of the night for illegal exchanges. Now there was more security, more rules in place to keep this from happening, so I wasn't even sure if I was ever allowed to have anyone in my room.

Suddenly, my phone rang on the nightstand, pulling me away from my thoughts of the adventurous life I used to live. I quickly released my girlfriend and answered the phone, mumbling a few curses as I hoped it didn't wake her up.

"Hello," I whispered as I felt Ansley rub my back; damn, it woke her.

"Everything okay?" she asked, but I ignored her, listening to the phone call.

"Hey, Demi, it's Phil. Today's the big day. You excited?" Phil McIntyre asked on the other line.

I nodded and stood from the bed, entering the bathroom and quietly shutting the door. My voice remained low. "Yeah, I am. San Diego, right?"

"That's correct. You still able to make your flight at noon? The busses are already halfway to San Diego by now," he said in a way that made me feel guilty for sleeping late – it was nine-thirty in the morning.

"Yes, I'll be there. I just wish Ansley could come to this show," I told him, my heart growing heavy.

I almost regretted bringing her up, as he was still so furious at how our relationship started.

"I know, but it's for the best. You know how crazy the first show always is. It's best for her to come when we're in the swing of things, like the Dallas show. Right now would just be too complicated and too last minute. Plus, your family's coming to this one, so we're at capacity unless you want to tell your mother to stay home." He was right. It was a stupid idea.

My demons entered my thoughts: You have to do this. There's no time to be having private happiness. You don't get to have any privacy right now.

I sighed defeatedly. "I know."

He filled me in on a few important details about the stage shape and the setlist for the night and the fact that this show was sold out, which he was super proud of until he remembered this stadium was the smallest on the entire North American leg of the tour. Then he reminded me to eat a good, healthy breakfast, but not too heavy so I could still fit into the tour outfits tonight. This made me stare at my reflection in the mirror until my eyes watered, but I kept my voice stable. I went along with everything he said until he hung up.