Even Heroes Have Scars

[85] OK Not to Be OK

TW: panic attack (Ansley's P.O.V., second half), mention of substances (Jacob's P.O.V, first two paragraphs)

Jacob's P.O.V.

~ March 23, 2018 ~

Everything had gotten better for me recently. Cole and I had been together for a couple of weeks already. We frequently hung out with our other friends after school to drink, smoke, and utilize whatever substances Ben brought us from his brother while playing video games, watching movies, or talking. I wasn't entirely sure how Ben's brother got ahold of all that stuff or how Ben was able to give it to us for free, but I also didn't really care. As long as I was catching a high, that was what mattered.

It allowed me to relax a lot, and my eating disorder was essentially a thing of the past with all the munchies everything gave me. I truly felt better, and I think Cole did, too. We no longer talked about the past and just focused on the now, which was the most refreshing thing. I was tired of dwelling on the fuck ups and the embarrassing shit that I could see Ansley thinking of whenever I mentioned Cole.

After school one day, Cole and I visited my sister at the diner. I figured the best thing for my sister's relationship with Cole was exposure, her seeing him in the broad daylight as a decent human being.

"Hey, boys," she greeted us as we sat down at the counter.

"Hey," I replied, straddling a barstool. "Where's Cody?"

She sighed, scrubbing the counter beside us. "Packing. He and Mark are moving to L.A. next week. His last day was last Friday."

I frowned, quite saddened by that; those two guys were like an inspiration to me, and they were genuinely fun to be around. "Damn, that sucks. Why L.A. again?" I wanted Cole to meet them. Or to at least meet Cody.

"Mark ended up getting a job scoring a soundtrack for an indie movie, and Cody found some sort of job as fashion designer and creativity director for some small, local magazine or website or something by day and a bartender by night. I'm not entirely sure, and I don't even know how secure either of those jobs are, but they're both gonna be happy with it, so that's what matters. Plus, they're tired of being in the homophobic south," she explained with a bitter tone. "Relatable. Kinda jealous."

Cole rose an eyebrow beside me, like he was fearful of her exploding on him next.

I spoke up to draw attention away from the anger. "Well, on the bright side, at least you'll be able to visit them when you go to L.A. to see Demi."

She nodded silently, and then her phone rang. It was strange that her ringer was on, as her phone was normally on vibrate, so it must've been important. Chelsea emerged from the kitchen where Britney also was. She seemed to be in a rush as she stood beside Ansley.

"This the call you're waiting on?" Chelsea asked my sister.

Ansley nodded again as she read the name off her screen. "Yeah. Cover for me?" she requested as she tore off her apron.

"Yeah, I got it. Go ahead," Chelsea replied, pushing Ansley towards the office area.

"What's that about?" Cole asked me.

I shrugged, as Ansley and I hadn't really been talking much lately. We weren't arguing or anything, but I was just preoccupied by hanging out with my friends, and she started working a little later in the day, a result of her job as a manager. I listened intently to Ansley's phone conversation, attempting to decipher what the topic was and who she was speaking to.

"Really? Boston? That's so soon..." She paused a moment. "Yeah, that's true. The whole thing will be over soon. I just feel I need to go before it is." Another pause before continuing. "Yeah, I can take off. You sure he's okay with it? I don't want to cause any problems on that end."