Even Heroes Have Scars

[18] Monster

Ansley's P.O.V.

OH MY FUCKING GOD DID DEMETRIA DEVONNE LOVATO JUST CALL ME CUTE WHILE I WAS WEARING HER CLOTHES?! YES SHE DID! I was freaking out, if it wasn't obvious!

"O-okay," I stuttered.

"Yay!" She looked rather shocked that she said it herself, but quickly tried to play it off.

She pulled me up the stairs and gave me another pair of sweatpants and a Paramore t-shirt.

"Whoa! This is a t-shirt from one of their first tours!" I was impressed that she had one of them. I wanted to go to that tour so bad!

"Yep," she giggled. "You can keep those. I have a bajillion more in the bottom of my drawer and probably one at Wilmer's place and at Marissa's."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Absolutely. I'll change in the bathroom because Wilmer scared the shit out of me and I almost peed myself, plus all the water on the floor and just..." She looked like she was about to pop as he held short pajama shorts and a tank top in her hand.

"Go before you explode, girly," I laughed.

She went into the bathroom so fast I almost didn't even see her move, she just disappeared. I shut the bedroom door and began to strip myself of my wet clothes, then I took a moment to just breathe in the smell of the clothes I was about to put on. They smelled like her, vanilla with the slightest hint of honey and a dab of...strawberry? Whatever it was, it smelt like pure heaven and I loved it. I slipped on the pants and froze when the bathroom door opened.

"Oh, shit! I'm sorry!" She turned away, as I was only in sweats and a bra.

I quickly threw on the shirt and turned red, but not as red as Demi was when she turned around to face me once I was dressed. The shorts didn't even go to her knees on her and her tank top fit her loosely.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry, Ansley, I should have knocked," she grabbed the wet clothes I had been wearing off her bed and held them in her arms.

I'd never say this, but I felt violated. Like, obviously, I loved her. She was my idol and she saved my life, but she walked in on me not wearing a shirt, and I freaked out because I was so ugly. That was the real reason why she turned around. Not because she wanted to give me privacy, but because I was ugly. I was a fucking monster. A hideous, blinding, fucktard.

"A-Ansley," she stood in front of me and I snapped my head to look at her. "Are you okay? You don't look so good...like you look scared."

I'm not scared. I'm just a monster. But I'm fine.

Nothing would leave my lips. not a word was said from me, at least in my control.

"Ans?" She tapped my face.

"Blade," I said voice that sounded inhuman to me.

Why the fuck did I say that? What is going on?

"Excuse me?" She asked, her eyes more concerned as she dropped the clothes on the floor. "Anna..."

"Give me a blade," I demanded.

Why do I keep saying things? I'm not trying to say anything.

"What? No!" She shook her head and held my hands tightly.

I only knew it was tight because both of our knuckles had turned white, but I couldn't feel anything.

Suddenly, my knees went weak and I fell backwards on the bed, dizzy. She flipped over my wrists and I tried to pull them away, but nothing happened. She saw them. My cuts. She saw them.