Even Heroes Have Scars

[91] For the Love of a Daughter

Demi's P.O.V.

~ Late April 2018 ~

I couldn't really get fully comfortable with Ansley anymore. I really fucked up with the whole lying thing, and now I felt like she was constantly seeing me naked, all vulnerable and fragile because of this hefty secret she now had to hold as well. It felt like she was looking down on me, like I was less than her because she was still sober and I wasn't. She was right. It was weird that she got sober for me and then I couldn't stay sober for her. But at the same time, this was my path. This was my reality whether she liked it or not. What was so wrong with me doing this for myself?

It had been three days since I showed up on her doorstep. We practically danced around the topic every time we were in the same room, sharing knowing glances anytime someone mentioned drugs or alcohol on the television or if the subject of secrets arose. I made things awkward. Everything would be better if she never knew. How could I have been so stupid as to not cover my tracks with her? I should've answered the fucking phone.

"Have you thought about telling your parents?" she asked one night as we ate Chinese takeout on the couch, watching a Grey's Anatomy rerun.

The question nearly made me choke. Had I even thought about it? No. I mean, of course I thought about it. Over the years I always wondered how they'd feel if I relapsed. But this wasn't a relapse. Not to me. It was intentional. A relapse would insinuate remorse, regret, a mistake having been made and efforts to fix the action would go into effect. I knew what I was doing. This was a conscious decision that I didn't make lightly. I just wasn't sober anymore.

After finishing my bite of noodles, I shook my head. "Not really. Should I?"

She shrugged. "Kind of seems like something they should know. You are their child, after all."

"What would I even say?" I questioned.

"The truth?" she chuckled, attempting to make light of the situation. "Everything you wish you'd've told me, like, if you had the chance to do it right. I don't want you regretting not telling them and then having the same situation you had with me, you know? It's your news to tell."

I nodded in understanding. "Could you go with me when I tell them?"

"Why?" she seemed appalled, which embarrassed me.

I faintly shrugged. "I just don't wanna be alone. I want someone there who I know will support me."

"Okay. I'll go with you. But you don't think they'll support you?"

It shocked me that she even asked that, considering her response to my situation.

"I honestly don't know what to expect."

I couldn't believe we were really having this conversation. I hated that she knew my secret, and yet we were talking about telling even more people. God, I wished I could just write down all of my thoughts about everything and just leave it for people to see, so I wouldn't have to face anyone. This was a big thing to drop. I knew that now, thanks to Ansley.

Ansley's P.O.V.

I hadn't seen Demi's family in a while. Nearly a month, actually. It gave me some anxiety to be sitting at their dinner table again, laughing and chatting with them when I knew a shoe would drop soon. Each passing moment filled my veins with anxiety, and I found myself constantly looking at Demi. I just wanted her to say it already, but I also feared the reaction. And then it happened.

"I need to say something," Demi finally stated, catching everyone's attention. "I've been really struggling lately. Just with mental health stuff, and I've been trying to think of what I could do to make myself feel better, so I'm not sitting here suffering so much."