Even Heroes Have Scars

[37] Insomnia and EDs

A/N
Sorry I'm tired. If there's any mistakes, I don't have the energy to fix them tonight. Sorry it took so long.

Ansley's P.O.V.

This girl. She was so unbelievably perfect anywhere from her captivating scent to her flawless features to her incredible personality.

Everything she did had meaning. But, she was friends with me. Why? I asked myself this several times while I laid in bed, her arms wrapped tightly around me. Why would a perfect girl like her ever do so much as speak to me? She kissed my head and my cheek, and perhaps that hadn't sunk in yet because I wasn't fangirling at the moment, but maybe I had just been imagining it. Maybe she wasn't there at all.

But she was. She was there with her arms relaxing around my waist as her breaths evened out. She was nearly asleep until I coughed, which woke her up.

She lifted her head and looked up at me with a smile as she giggled. "Here," she whispered as she reached behind her and grabbed a tissue, placing it beside me.

"Thank you," I smiled, and she nodded tiredly as she rested her head back on my stomach, her arms around me once again in the same position they were five seconds ago.

Before I knew it, she was asleep again. Asleep, as in little snores leaving her lips every so often, her back rising and falling with every inhale and exhale. Any time I attempted to escape her grip, she crept closer, sighing happily as her arms tightened around me and her left leg looped around my left leg, so I gave up.

"Mmm Ansley stay," she cuddled her head into my stomach more.

So, she was a sleep talker. Cute. And she was either awake or dreaming of me. Even cuter.

Six thousand words in the English dictionary and none of them put together could describe my feelings right then. The wanting, the happiness, the comfortability, the butterflies. None of my friends had ever treated me so well, but if this was how she treated all of her friends, then my crush on her would escalate quickly. It felt like it was more than just a friendship, even though I knew it was nothing but one.

Some people felt safe when they were being cuddled or held, and more often than not, I was one of those people, but I only liked a few peoplebenough to allow them to get that close to me, and she was one of those people.

She hurt me before, and she could do it again, but I trusted that she wouldn't. I now devoted myself to her, allowed her into my life and didn't push her away when she tried to get close, but at the same time, there was a lot I didn't tell her. There was a lot she didn't tell me either, but she was right, I never asked. Most of the questions I would ask her were useless ones that I already knew the answer to because I stalked her before she knew I even existed. Like almost every single other teenage girl, I was a fangirl, and a big one at that, might I add.

Most of my teenage life, I was a fangirl over Demi, only Demi. Of course, there was the occasional fangirl attack over Ed Sheeran, the Jonas Brothers, Kelly Clarkson, or Taylor Swift, every now and then, Paramore, but other than that, ninety percent of the time I was on my phone was me on my Lovatic fan account on Twitter or on YouTube looking at interviews. Sometimes, when I was in high school and we were told to read, our teachers let us read on our phones, so I logged onto Wattpad and read as much Demi fanfiction as I could. My bad.

Becoming a fangirl was the best thing I ever did.

I remembered back to the day when I discovered Demi. The song Skyscraper had played on the radio in the car, and the moment I got home, I looked the song up on YouTube, and read the comments. Ignoring the awful comments calling her fat or saying she had a bad voice, there were comments that said things such as, "It is so sad that she went through so much! She's beautiful and I'm glad she went to treatment to take care of herself. #lovaticforlife". After that, I was curious as to what happened to her, so I typed into YouTube, "What happened to Demi Lovato", and clicked the first video that told almost everything. It said she had been called terrible things like "fat" and "ugly" and she was bullied so much that she decided to be homeschooled instead of being bullied every single day. Ever since she was seven, she developed an eating disorder, and because of the bullying, she began cutting herself at the age of eleven. It listed everything that she went through, even how her parents said that if she didn't agree to go to treatment, they would take her little sister back to Texas and she would never be able tsee her again, so she went.