Even Heroes Have Scars

[30] Distanced

Ansley's P.O.V.

"Hating yourself and an eating disorder?"

Fuck.

"Thanks for the ride. Excuse me," I unbuckled and opened the truck door, hopping out.

"Wait," before I knew it, he was out of the truck, too, and stood right beside me. "What are you talking about?"

"It's complicated. I'll explain it some other time or something, I don't know," I ran my fingers through my hair as my heart beat fast.

"I think you should explain it now. What other times will I be able to see you?" he spoke quickly as if this was the only time we had left together. I didn't say anything. "Please answer me. Please don't shut me out for being curious. I have so many questions and nobody's been honest with me all day. Please."

"Go downtown on weekday mornings and find 38th street, then find Meredith's diner. I work there on weekdays. I'll explain then. Thanks again for the ride," I unlocked my car and opened the door, looking at him as I sat in the drivers seat. After I shut the door, I started the car and rolled the window down. "I'll see you around, Hayden."

With that, I drove off feeling like a bitch, but at the same time, I didn't care. I felt...free.

___________________

The entire week, Jacob rode the bus home alone since Drew was going to Maddie's. I had refused to go to Demi's house ever since the incident with Hayden on Sunday. There was no way I could face her after that. I'd expected her to call or go to the diner, but she never did. Hayden did, though. He brought Addison to the diner every morning for breakfast. Cody seemed to like him as a friend and I was sure Britney enjoyed his company. Very slowly, I felt myself longing for his presence, but in some times of his absence, I missed Demi.

Today was Friday and I hadn't seen her since Sunday. Even though I felt free, I felt like a dog on a short chain hooked to a fence, trapped in my own head, and when I tried to go farther than my thoughts would allow me, I choked, gasping for air.

It was the song Heart Attack that truly spoke to me. Of course, I loved having a song that knew exactly how I felt, but of course the song was by her. Like in the music video, the black paint on her hands represented the things that she couldn't let go of, and she rubbed it all over herself. I couldn't let go of her even while the rest of me was free, wearing a white dress and minimum makeup to show my purity. Why couldn't it be anyone else? Why did it have to be my idol, the girl I was absolutely in love with, that hurt me? Why? Why me? Why do I have to live a life like this?

I had just gotten in the door of the diner when Cody approached me with his phone out. He looked as if he were about to explode.

"Whoa, Cody, do you need to pee or something?" I giggled as I put my bag in my locker.

"I might," he smiled a big white smile. "Demi Lovato!"

"Yeah. What about her?" I rose an eyebrow as I flipped the sign from Closed to Open.

"She tweeted!" he was nearly jumping.

"Yeah, that's what people do when they have a Twitter, Cody. We went over this, I don't care about her anymore. She betrayed me," I crossed my arms in disgust.

"Come on, Ansley. Don't say that. You know that isn't true. You care about her so much," he lowered his phone.

"So what if I do? Doesn't matter. She's never going to talk to me again, that's for sure. And if she thinks texting me an apology will get her anywhere..." I scoffed, "she's such a comedian. I don't care about what she tweeted. I turned my notifications off for a reason."