Even Heroes Have Scars

[64] I'm Ready

A/N

Hey guys, I decided to extend this a couple more chapters. Again, I hope everyone is staying safe from Coronavirus COVID-19. 

Demi's P.O.V.

I spent extra time before my performance to help Ansley learn everything she needed to know how to play. It had been a while since she and I were able to have this quality time together, playing music and living like nothing else mattered. There was no stress, just two girls and some instruments. Over the past few years, her band had travelled all over Texas for performances, even a couple in Oklahoma. Her comfort and confidence levels in her ability to play in front of audiences grew astronomically. She was a natural. This girl... she was so happy making music – I knew it was the right decision for her to have a music career. I had to get her there.

She smiled at me in the hallway of the house we were throwing this party in, guitar strung around onto her back, and she held my hand for a moment, like she was happy. She was, I think. She was happy. Completely happy, for the first time in a while.

The announcer called for us, and with a quick hug, we exited the hall to the couches where we were assigned to perform. As I sang these songs, I looked over at her, and at my fans and family and friends around me, feeling so blessed, so free, so calm.

I belted my heart out, not holding back any of the notes I knew I could hit. Ansley even sang along with me. But the entire duration of the performance, I thought back to all of the memories from the past couple years of us as just friends, all the movies we saw and visits to her diner and nights up late talking, how every time we did those things and talked about the people we were seeing, the only one I wanted to see was her. The only person I wanted was her, every day. To sing with her, to lay in bed holding hands and sharing air between us, to grumble in traffic together, to come home and talk about our days. Her brother was basically a younger brother to me – not in the way that made Ansley my sister, but in the way that he was my brother-in-law, that she was my... person.

Part of our problem last time was that we rushed into it to beat a tour date, and everything about us was so centered around her recovery that, when I left, I realized I hardly knew anything about her. I knew her story, and I knew how she cared about her brother, and I knew a couple of her hobbies, but I felt like I didn't really know her. And in those past few years, I'd gotten to know her. I'd learned what made her tick and what broke her down and what gave her a passion for life. I'd learned the type of person she wanted to be. And over a year ago, I realized that I fell in love with her. But I gave her space and time, the things she seemed to always want.

And now, as she and I stood up at the sound of everyone's applause when our performance concluded, it was that same rush as when I met her backstage after she sang at that bar so many years ago. A rush that I couldn't explain, but I knew I needed to get us away from these people, where she and I could just... be us. So, I took her by the hand and led her to a secluded room upstairs.

She was confused, but I stared out the window of the room, hands on my hips, and she set the guitar on the chair behind me.

"Demi..." she started, taking a couple cautious steps toward me after shutting the door.

There were tears in my eyes that I couldn't hide because my respect for her boundaries was outweighing my love for her. I'd been respecting these boundaries for so long, and it felt so impossible in this moment. I kept facing away from her.

She stepped forward again. "Demi, what is it?"

My arms moved to form a cocoon around my body, feeling like I needed to be held but didn't have the guts to ask her to hold me.