Even Heroes Have Scars

[35] Sense of Normality

Ansley's P.O.V.

The week passed by slowly, every night my mind erupting in the same nightmare over and over again, and I was always Dawson, but nothing I did would make it disappear.

Demi had rehearsal every day, as could be expected, and I had work at the diner. Once again, Hayden followed through with his daily routine of showing up at the diner at precisely eight forty-three every single day, including Thursday, which was today. He said that every other day, he would stop by for lunch, too, but he was only there for five minutes that I was there because he usually came during my lunch break, which I secretly thought was illogical. He showed up a lot in my life, but I wasn't complaining.

"Hey," he dropped his keys on the counter as he sat down on the pink barstool.

"Hey," I smiled, blushing for some odd reason.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked as I gave him his regular drink: coffee with creamer and two packs of Splenda because he insisted Splenda was better than sugar. Didn't we all.

"Eh..." I shrugged as I leaned against the counter.

"Still having bad dreams?"

I had told him that I wasn't sleeping well because of bad dreams, but I didn't tell him why because he still didn't know that Dawson abused Jacob and me. I nodded.

He squinted as he sipped his coffee. "I'm sorry about that, Anna. Maybe you can go to a-"

"No," I interrupted. "I'm not going to a therapist over bad dreams. They're ridiculous anyway."

"They aren't ridiculous if they hurt you this much," he folded his hands in front of him on the marble counter.

"He's right, Anna," Cody quiet shouted from behind me.

I shook my head and sighed. Demi would agree. Of course she would. She'd want me to go to therapy, too, so that they could find out about my self harm and eating disorder and all my shitty problems. She was lucky I even trusted her with my secrets. There was no way I'd trust a complete stranger with my inner most deepest thoughts.

Hayden ordered his breakfast and ate it, then paid and he was out the door in ten minutes, like he always was. Eat and run. Just like that, he was gone. But who was I to care? I was just his "best friend". Plus, he had a job and Addison. Why did I expect him to stay?

Today was different, though. I could sense it in the air. That was why I stayed during my lunch break today. As I had predicted, something happened. It was Demi. She was there. The bell above the door rang and she pushed the door open, her eyes hanging onto mine as she sat down at a barstool. I blinked a couple times. Perhaps I was hallucinating and that she wasn't really there, but when she didn't disappear, it registered in my mind that she was indeed there.

"Hey," her voice was shaky as she twiddled her thumbs on the counter, much like Hayden did when he didn't know what to do.

"Um hi," I rose an eyebrow as I approached her with a notepad and pen in my hand. "What can I get you to eat?"

"I'm fine with just a water right now. I was actually hoping we could talk about something," she bit her lip in a way that made me uneasy in the knees and I sighed.

"I'm working," lame but true excuse.

"Oh," she looked down in disappointment as she stood up. "I thought you were on your break at this time. I'll go but I'll see you around."

"I'm usually on my break but I decided not to be today. It's not like I do anything on my break anyway," I shrugged.

She didn't say anything, just sighed and stared at the floor until the bell on the door rang again and Hayden entered. I had expected them to jump right into a screaming match, but they didn't. She smiled weakly at him and he gave a small wave.