Even Heroes Have Scars

[47] Almost. Lost. Her.

Ansley's P.O.V.

Through the fogged up glass, I could see Demi pulling her shirt up and over her head, probably to keep it from getting wet. Demi fucking Lovato was standing on the other side of this glass without a shirt on. She was topless. But more than anything, she was my girlfriend. And she loved me just as much as I loved her. How did I get so lucky?

Suddenly, she spun around. I covered all my areas that I thought would be visible to her. Her hand covered her front.

"I'm sorry I forgot this sooner, but can you hand me my shampoo?" she asked through the glass.

I searched her hanging bottle holder that was hanging to my right. "Which one? You have, like, ten."

"The one in the blue bottle," she replied.

After finding the blue one, I cracked open the door just enough for my hand to fit through with the bottle. She grabbed it, then I shut the door back.

"Thank you." She turned back around and stuck her head under the sink.

That was one of the most frightening times of my life. If she had seen me, she would have seen the scars on my legs, stomach, boobs, shoulders, back, butt, upper arms, and wrists. Completely exposed. Sure, she knew a shit ton of them were from Dawson, but I didn't want anyone to see me. I knew she saw most of the ones on my back and shoulders the other day when I wore my bikini and we got in the pool, but that was different. She hadn't seen the ones on my butt or boobs, hopefully not the ones on my stomach, too. She could have seen all my struggles. She could have seen the side of me that I hid from her. And I couldn't let that happen. She was too beautiful of a soul to be cursed with such a sight.

I allowed the water to pound on my back, sending me to another world.

I imagined my life with Demi. Three months without her. A month or so with her. Another couple months without her. Then she'd be back, done touring, done traveling, she'd just be home. I hoped one day to take our relationship to the next level, maybe living together or something. I already knew I wanted to marry her. So what if she made one mistake? I overreacted. She was incredible and I couldn't believe I was that close to losing her. Another thing I couldn't believe was how hard she tried to get me back.

I was that close to losing the girl who saved my life.

Something was happening to me. It was like in the movies when someone looked in a certain direction and they were flooded with bad thoughts. Their reaction was like they were being choked. That was how I felt. The world was closing in on me and I nearly crumbled. A single sob threatened, and my hand rose to my mouth, covering it as water ran down my body, draining out the sound of my cries. My tears mixed with the shower water. I wasn't even sure why this was happening to me until I thought of life without her.

I. Almost. Lost. Her.

My back pressed against the shower wall as I tried my hardest to stay silent, though it didn't work.

"Hey, Ansley, are you okay?" Demi called out through the door.

I could see her blurry figure stand up straight after removing all the shampoo from her hair, checking the mirror to see if there was any pancake mix in her hair.

"Yeah," I managed. "I'm okay."

"You don't sound okay."

Shit. Every speck of pain in my body was audible in my voice. I didn't reply, afraid it would get worse. My knees gave and allowed me to slowly sink to the floor.

"Ans, turn off the water, okay? I'll hand you a towel to cover yourself. I'll come in." Her voice was so lenient, indulgent, I couldn't possibly disagree, even though my mind was swirling, screaming "no".